Blogging, Humor, Uncategorized

My List of Top 10 Rock Band Names If I Were to Ever Start a Rock Band


I know what you are thinking. That this is one of those filler posts, fluff, just to mark my spot in an otherwise somewhat boring month filled with painting posts and the occasional sponsored post. And you would be correct!

But if this is truly a blog, there should be some random crap thrown in every once in a while to keep you on your toes. I like to keep you guessing about my sanity every so often and this one is definitely a qualifier.

For the past few years, I have on occasion said in relation to an unusual phrase, “that would make a great band name!” or “sew that on a pillow!”. It was as I was sitting at a function in which I should have been giving the full attention that my mind drifted to thoughts of “whoa, why don’t I write a blog post about that? HOLY SHIT WHY DON’T I WRITE A BLOG POST ABOUT THAT??!”.




Scrotum Band Name




I think my work here is done. See you next week!




I am aware I spelled it POW instead of PAO but that is the whole point. POW! WE ARE GONNA ROCK YOUR WORLD! With chicken! And peanuts! In a spicy sauce!



Fat Hamster


I can’t take the credit for this one as I heard it on the Eric and Kathy show here in Chicago one morning. Someone mentioned a “fat hamster” and they said that would make a great band name. It’s good but not as good as…..




Insolent Toddler


To be clear, the crib isn’t on fire. It’s the insolent toddler breathing fire! Because I don’t want to get in trouble with the powers that be over fire coming from a crib and as any parent knows, an insolent toddler is scary as hell. Hence a great band name.




Wet Pizza


I feel like Wet Pizza would be on the Top 40 charts every week on the college radio stations.



Bus Full of Bloggers


Formerly Bus Full OF Bloggers but O’ just sounds more festive in an Irish jig sort of way. I came up with this name on a shuttle to my first blogging conference. You can read about it here.

I picture them in concert at your local Starbucks, drinking PSL’s, wearing colorful chevron scarves, and Lularoe leggings with a school bus print, of course. A word of warning: you will only get about 20 minutes of play time in an hour because of those damn pop up ads asking you to subscribe to their respective blogs.



Holy Socks



Christian alternative. Duh.



Mucus Filled Blanket


I came up with this one when I had pneumonia for most of 2014. It was a toss-up between this and Lung Cookie, another solid band name.




Donna Martin Graduates


I feel like there has to be a band with this name somewhere on our planet. But I want it stated here that I came up with this one on my own.

If you were born after 1992, you won’t get it. Unless you are hip, then you totally will.





Bueller bueller bueller

The best band on Earth.  It’s popular with all the groups: sportos, jocks, dweebs……



babette ate oatmeal


Troubador music.

If you would like to borrow any of these names to start your own band, I am happy to give them away to you. The only thing I ask is for free tickets. Unless it’s for Scrotum, then no thanks.

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8 thoughts on “My List of Top 10 Rock Band Names If I Were to Ever Start a Rock Band”

  1. Wet Pizza and Fat Hamster!!!! Now there are some bands I could throw my bra at…granted I am always looking for an excuse to throw my bra off. You are hilarious!


  2. How did I miss this post???? Why is the comment email response thing still not working??? WHY DO THEY KEEP USING POPUP ADS? It has to be one heck of a blog to keep me clicking over once I see that popup. Ug. Scrotum…!!


    1. LOL Damn WordPress. I feel like it is sabotaging my old readers from coming here. Apparently no one is getting my blog in their mailboxes either.
      I am sure that is something I messed up but let’s blame WordPress.


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