Blogging, Books, Life, Writing

seven questions

Kari

remember when i mentioned in my q&a post that i was going to start posting on different days and finally share some of the drafts that have been sitting for years? well, today is one of those days!

i didn’t even plan to share this one today—look at me go!

i first started writing this back in october 2023.

my friend deb shared a blog post with seven questions posed by alan alda. when i went to google the origins of alan’s seven questions, i couldn’t find much, but i did come across a fantastic wikipedia list of writing prompts that writing nerds (like me!) get very excited about.

on that list, i found 11 questions, from which alan asks his podcast guests to choose seven. so, i decided to pick my own seven from the 11. be sure to visit deb’s blog, though, to read her answers to the seven questions she chose!

1- what do you wish other people understood about you?

i live my life day by day and don’t look too far into the future.

the past, though, is harder to let go of—i still struggle with not revisiting it, and sometimes i get caught in old patterns.

but focusing on the present has made my life a lot easier, more peaceful, and happier overall.

2- how do you tell someone they have their facts wrong?

i don’t -unless it is slander or something that will negatively affect someone’s life.

3- how do you strike up a real, genuine conversation?

by paying attention to the person i’m talking to. i spent many years doing most of the talking and not much listening. now, i focus a lot more on listening.

4- what book(s) changed your life?

The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

Perfect Love and Imperfect Relationships

maybe i’ll read these books again in five years, but they won’t have the same impact. not everyone will love them the way i did, but these two books profoundly changed my life, and i’m better for having read them.

5- what, if anything would make you end a friendship?

the one thing that would undeniably end a friendship for me is if someone deliberately did or said something to hurt me or my family.

6- what (who) gives you confidence?

writing. your comments. my parents’ love. conversations with my husband. the existence of my daughters. my dogs loyalty. reiki. soul homework. yoga. my friendships.

7- is there anyone you just can’t feel empathy for?

i read a quote from one of the books i recommended above that said, “‘you don’t love me as i am’—this is the universal wound that fuels our fight with the world,” and it changed my outlook on others.

originally, i would have said, “i can’t have empathy for people who hate.” but i now think many act this way because, at some point, they weren’t loved for who they truly are. while this doesn’t excuse their actions, it helps me understand them better (even though it’s hard).

i think that’s why we love our pets so much—they give us unconditional love. imagine if we could offer that same kind of acceptance to each other.

you can listen to alan alda’s podcast by clicking on the link.

here is the wikiversity link of fun writing prompts if you’d like to try them.

Discover more from A Grace Full Life

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

57 thoughts on “seven questions”

  1. Great questions (and responses)! All the cool kids are linking to Deb’s blog this week. I hope she feels special!

    Is it weird to say a book that changed my life is my book? Writing it gave me the confidence to pursue a full-time writing career…and that has paid off wonderfully!

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

    1. Thank you! I love that she’s getting love-bombed by the bloggers! I hope she feels the love too. 💜

      Not weird at all! In fact, it’s incredibly inspiring that writing your book gave you the confidence to pursue being a full-time writer.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  2. Empathy can be so hard at times. I am finding it so hard to have empathy for your current governmental administration. Most people, though, I can find a way to have some empathy. There is a quote in Tell Me Everything that is something like people aren’t evil, they are broken. It’s a really important thing to remember, when someone behaves abhorrently, that that person is broken in some way.

    Two books changed my life: Wake Up To The Joy In You, and Your Body, Your Best Friend.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. I’m finding it hard too. 😠

      That’s such a great quote. I also love that you gave me a new book suggestion! 💜

      I’ve read the first one! Ally actually recommended it to me either on her blog or in a comment, and I loved it. I just added the second book to my TBR. 🌈

      Like

      Reply

  4. Oh I love a good set of writing prompts. You picked some fun questions to answer. I’m trying (and failing miserably!) to not correct people’s facts… mostly because it can be so hard to find a gentle way to correct them.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  5. You go girl! What a treat to get another post from you this week. Great questions and answers. I’m preparing to head to Italy in a couple of days and don’t have time to answer them … at least at the moment … but am thinking about them …
    Thanks Kari. Have a great w/e!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Aww, yay! Posting twice a week is so much fun! But to be fair, this post was actually written a year and a half ago. I just made a few edits yesterday before publishing. 🤣

      Have the best time, my friend! I can’t wait to see pictures and read your posts! 💜

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  6. I love that a thing that gives you confidence is writing! Me too, sista. By the way, you tried to leave a comment on my blog a few days ago, it ended up as spam, and I can’t retrieve it. Sorry about that! Just know I know you’re out there. :)

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  8. Great writing prompts! I’m glad you chose to share these with us.

    I can attest to the fact that you’re a good listener. <3

    I read both of the books you mentioned. Wonderful reads.

    Absolutely about pets and unconditional love.

    xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    2. My dear friend gave me The Four Agreements years ago, and I’ve yet to read it. I’ve started it a few times, and then I always make time for books on my book club list. I need to make that a priority.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  10. Thank you for sharing the Wiki page. I also enjoy prompts.

    I love that pet-love is unconditional, and also that it’s uncritical. It doesn’t matter that you’ve not showered in a few days or have morning breath. Your still perfect.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Aww, thank you, friend! On that note, I think I accidentally flushed one of the stink bugs down the toilet last night. So there’s that. 😅

      Our pets really are the best! Thank goodness for them!

      Like

      Reply

  12. I’m glad you posted today. On #2, I’ve found that people rarely change their mind, even when presented with facts. People believe what they want. Thus the common phrase, “That’s my truth.”

    Re: #7, I do believe that hurt people hurt people. It’s not an excuse, but it answers the WHY, which is what I always try to ask when posed with any conundrum. I have struggled with my relationship with my mother all my life. It’s only been in the past few years, since she’s developed dementia and I’ve discovered more of her past, that I’m becoming more empathetic. I still hate the way she treated me (and lived her life, in general) but I’m starting to see the WHY.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. YES.

      I hate that you were treated that way, and I’m really sorry. Sometimes understanding why helps us see that it’s not about us. I think many of us carry shame, believing we somehow caused the hurt or negativity directed at us. There are people in my life that I don’t connect with and choose not to engage with. And while I struggle with their actions, I think I have some understanding of what shaped them—and I try to have empathy for that. But still… they’re not people I want in my life. 🤣

      Like

      Reply

      2. Good for you. I completely agree—boundaries are so important, and sometimes walking away from relationships that no longer serve us is the most compassionate thing we can do for ourselves.😘💜

        Like

      1. Yeah i never left..boy you have missed alot i have been posting since Jan here and there abd dropping art every friday for the time being…check me out 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Those are good, thought-provoking questions. We’ve talked lots about the first book under #4, but I’m intrigued by the second one! Going to try and find that one.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  17. “but focusing on the present has made my life a lot easier, more peaceful, and happier overall.”

    So true, Kari! And that’s something I have to always keep a check on – living in the moment. I find that when I’m able do that, I get everything I need to proceed into the future.

    “the one thing that would undeniably end a friendship for me is if someone deliberately did or said something to hurt me or my family.”

    Me too! In fact, I’m much more defensive and protective towards the people I love than myself. I was very much that way when I came to my mother. If anyone intentionally did or said something to hurt her, I was very vocal about it.

    “i think that’s why we love our pets so much—they give us unconditional love.”

    For me, pets are the perfect example of unconditional love. And that’s what they are here to teach us.

    Hope you’re having a fantastic weekend, my friend. Very much enjoyed this post! X

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Taking it day by day, being in the present moment has become easier for me to manage. I really started focusing on this during my dad’s cancer treatment—it was such a big lesson in mindfulness for me.

      I get what you mean about being protective of those you love. I feel the same way, especially when it comes to my mom. I’d do anything to stand up for her if someone hurt her. Same with my children. And my husband. 🤣

      And you’re so right about pets. They really are here to show us how to love without expectations.

      I hope your weekend’s been peaceful. I always appreciate reading your thoughts—it’s like a little moment of connection for me, friend. 😘💜

      Like

      Reply

  18. I like your answers to these thought provoking questions. I’d say the thing that gives me confidence is 1. age/experience and 2. choosing not to care about what other people think of me. And probably 3 – knowing my family (not my family of origin, mind you) have my back and are fiercely loyal and supporitve

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Age and experience do have a way of shaping confidence, and letting go of what others think is such a freeing thing. And having a supportive, loyal family—that’s everything. I’m glad you have that kind of foundation. 😘

      Like

      Reply

  21. Very late with my comment, sorry but loved the questions. I’d like to answer #5.

    5- what, if anything would make you end a friendship?

    When friendship either becomes one sided and sort of runs its course.

    A few examples.

    I had a group of 4 friends that were my sister friends. Now it’s only three. two years ago, one of the ladies, she just would not make to ANY of the get togethers, and she started growing apart from the group. I openly told her that we think that friendship ran its course. She was 70 (not to bring her age into it but I think it’s important) and had found other outlets for connection. She told the three of us “you never liked me” – not true. But whatever, it’s done. I wish her well.

    Other friendships are more superficial so it’s less painful. Example: mom groups. Kids grow, moms move on, find different communities in local schools, camps, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I agree with you on one-sided friendships or when they’ve run their course. I’ve had friends I met through my children’s school or activities—we never had a falling out, but we’re all in different stages of life now. Still, if we were to run into each other in public, we’d hug and catch up.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

I'd love to hear from you