Life, Summer, What I Kept

what i kept – june 2025

Kari

i began writing this series in may 2022, not intending to make it a tradition. but it stayed—and so did you. thank you for showing up each month.

june 1st

these irises were given to us by our dear friend orpha, who died in january 2024. i meant to write about her last summer, but in my grief fog, i didn’t.

orpha sat behind us in church for years, back when we did that sort of thing. our small congregation felt like family, and orpha was part of that family.

one day she said she had too many lilies and hostas and asked if we’d like some. we did. they still bloom throughout our yard, more than a decade later.

we also got an iris—just one, we thought, in the side yard.

then last summer, the first after she died, surprise irises bloomed in the front yard. they did again this year.

thank you, orpha. we miss you.

orpha’s lilies
source
my first henna tattoo
the zinnias in early june
the sky during the canadian wildfires
i read recently that pity isn’t compassion—it’s actually disrespect. that “i feel sorry for you” line always bothered me. now i get it: it’s not empathy, it just pushes people away.

i found this picture of ella watching television in my parents’ bed in tennessee a few weeks ago while digging through my old blog. my kids loved their mamie and papa’s bed when they were little. they call it mamie’s marshmallow bed because it felt like sleeping on a marshmallow. my mom is so good at making a cozy bed.

i remember one time when I was 24 and still living at home. i’d gone to a chicago bears game with a friend. it was pouring rain and absolutely miserable. i got home at midnight—cold, soaked through, and exhausted.

my mom had made my bed. my sheets and blankets had been in the dryer, so they were nice and warm. even now, i think about that warm bed, and it comforts me.

source
and just like that…
i only had the opposite of this picture, but mike just sent me this one, and it captures me in action back then.
a summer morning at the farm market with my mom.
double rainbow
zinnias (and bonus sunflowers!) in late june
i finally captured my favorite trees — two standing on opposite sides of the road, reaching toward each other and forming a beautiful tree tunnel. isn’t that the loveliest thing ever?

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51 thoughts on “what i kept – june 2025”

  2. So many good things to savor here! I love those arched trees and that rainbow photo too. Orpha’s flowers are just lovely and what a beautiful reminder of her.

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  3. I love the piece of writing about Mothers Carrying Things. In fact, I love it so much, I’ve taken a snap of it and will share it with my daughter who is now the mother carrying things <3

    Irises are so gorgeous – I just wish they’d last longer. But lovely to have a garden containing flowers to remember a friend by. I miss that aspect through moving around a lot. I imagine that’s how my mother felt when she had to leave her (home and) garden after 40 years. Thanks Kari – I have a difficult relationship with my mother, so little insights like this help <3

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    1. I love that too — and I love that you’re sharing it with your daughter, who’s now in the thick of parenting. 💜

      I wish they lasted longer too. That’s why I love zinnias — they last from July through early October.

      I’m so glad I can provide these little insights, my friend. I’m sending you love. 😘

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  4. Reading your blog post this morning (oops, it’s afternoon…but it still feels like morning ha ha) is like having one of our wonderful chats. Which reminds me – we need to get together. It’s been too long. Sorry I haven’t been in touch. I’ve been isolating in this heat except for running errands.

    That piece about the spanking and the child bringing home a rock…oh, my heart! This one made me tear up. I wish I could take back all the times I was too harsh and impatient with my children.

    Beautiful story about Orpha and the irises.

    The poem from Nikita Grill about us being like a canopy of trees protecting each other from a storm…your photo of the tree tunnel reminded me of just that. I love how the trees are reaching for each other and giving each other a hug.

    Love your henna tattoo! So pretty.

    “All the women in me are tired.” Yes, thank you, Joan Didion.

    Reading about Mamie’s Marshmallow Bed made me smile. Reminded me of when my boys and their cousins were little and used to pile up on my parent’s waterbed. Remember those? Of course that was great fun for kids…so squishy and wiggly! And your mom making your bed with fresh, warm sheets and a blanket for when you got home from the Bears game…that is SO your mom. Full of love and comfort.

    Love the skeleton meme with being out of the loop on purpose. I had an incident just yesterday where my cousin was texting me ranting and raving about something another relative had done. She was trying to put me in the middle and it was very distressing. Yes, I want to be out of the loop!

    Mothers carrying things…”there is nothing I cannot hold for you.” That explains motherhood in one sentence. We carry not only their joys, but their sadness, as well. What they feel, we feel. We carry their hearts.

    xoxo

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    1. I love that reading my blog feels like a chat! I’ve been isolating a bit too because of the heat — so I get it completely. Also, Ella has summer school every day until mid-July, so let’s look at getting together then! I miss you.

      I wish this too, friend. Rebecca was telling me the other day how her daughter and son-in-law are parenting their child, and she and I are relearning parenting through them. It’s so much more gentle — and I love that.

      YES — I didn’t even make the connection between the canopy of trees and the tree tunnel! We should all be the trees reaching across the road to each other.

      Joan Didion would be pretty friggin’ miserable right about now.

      OMG — I totally remember waterbeds! That is so my mom! She still has a marshmallow bed. 💜

      I never want to be in the loop. That’s why I don’t miss Facebook. 🤣

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  5. re: mary oliver quote– no one will care! (well 99.9% won’t care) … the other 0.1% will fondly ask, “where ya been, i’ve missed you!” <3

    re: compassion/lack of respect/fear quote– i'm hesitant about embracing the idea that saying, "i'm sorry for you" equates to disrespect or fear. heck, sometimes i tell myself, "i'm so sorry this happened to me" — but it's never fear, or lack of self-respect, that is driving my emotions (more like self-soothing, and love FOR self). but i'm okay that we see it differently <3 .

    re: photo of the two girls piggybacking– are you the one taking the photo, or are you one of the little girls? — such a GREAT photo! i can feel the JOY.

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    1. I love that- I missed you. By the way, I’ve missed you. 😘

      I completely agree with apologizing to myself. I never feel bad about telling myself I’m sorry for what I’ve been through, so I understand your point of view on this. I also love that you said, “but I’m okay that we see it differently.” That’s really lovely.

      I’m taking the photo! I love that you asked. 💜

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  6. Yay zinnias. They’re my favorite summer flower. I feel like all the women in me are tired, too. A perfect way of describing exhaustion. Smiling about the self-esteem one, agree about the connection to humility.

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    1. They’re mine too! That, and Black-eyed Susans, which I have in our front garden and will begin to bloom pretty soon!

      I think so many of us women are just so tired. Sigh.

      When I saw that quote, I just laughed. It’s TRUE.

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  7. Oh wow, that Lindgren anecdote is HEAVY. Important, but heavy.

    Orpha’s irises are gorgeous! Thank you for sharing them — the irises, and Orpha — with us. She sounds lovely and I’m sorry she’s gone.

    The henna tattoo is so cool!

    Oh Kari. The warm bed. That gives me — ironically — chills. Isn’t that exactly what a mother should be? Oh how I love that story and that image, may I always be a freshly made bed with warm linens for my child to come home to.

    That photo of you in the overalls with the dog pillow — you are so beautiful Kari. Thank you for continuing to share these snippets of grace and thoughtfulness and beauty.

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    1. Very heavy. I told Nicole that I can’t remember which book it came from — it was at the beginning of a chapter. I stared at that anecdote for ten minutes, but I can’t remember the book. I guess I got what I needed.

      Thank you, Suzanne. Orpha was so lovely, inside and out.

      So cool! My friend and I were walking through one of the local towns when a new store was opening — an apothecary! They had a henna tattooist working, and we got it done. It was a fun experience.

      YES! I always want my kids to remember this kind of comfort from our family.

      OMG, friend — that is such a lovely thing to say to me. Thank you. I appreciate you so much. 😘💜

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  9. Oh my god that first paragraph by Astrid Lindgren. I actually gasped.

    Your garden reminds me of my Calgary garden! I had Siberian irises that looked just like that and would be blooming around this time of the year, ditto to the daylilies. I also had a ton of hostas! I don’t have any of those things here, different climate, etc. I keep forgetting to take a photo of my zinnias. I must do that because they are frankly gorgeous.

    I really love that anecdote about the lady holding a ladder. May we all be that kind of support in the world.

    Your selfies always make me happy. Thank you. xo

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    1. Right?? I’ve forgotten which book this came from; the author used it as a quote at the beginning of a chapter, and I just sat there staring at the page for ten minutes. I forgot the book, but the quote stayed with me.

      I love that it reminds you of your Calgary garden! I’ve secretly wanted to live in Canada for a while. I joke with my husband that I’m not made for the heat down here — and we live in the Upper Midwest! I think Canada would probably be my kind of climate, at least certain parts of it. I haven’t nailed down a place yet. So it makes me feel good that I have a Canadian garden.

      I’m so glad you tagged me in the zinnia garden on Instagram! Your garden is absolutely beautiful. We’re probably about a week away from zinnia blooms here — they’re almost ready!

      I love that too, Nicole. That’s a good way to look at life, especially for those searching for purpose. I think maybe the purpose finds us.

      I’m so glad the selfies make you happy. Yours make me happy too. 😘

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  10. Kari, those irises are STUNNING! And I’m so sorry to hear about your dear friend, Orpha.

    “then last summer, the first after she died, surprise irises bloomed in the front yard. they did again this year.”

    What a beautiful sign from her!

    Love your video clip of the cardinal. They are such adorable birds, aren’t they?

    And I also LOVE your first henna. So beautiful! I work with someone who does henna tattoos.

    ” now i get it: it’s not empathy, it just pushes people away.” – Yes, exactly! And I read something about pity versus compassion many years ago, which gave me a “light bulb moment”.

    I can’t get over all the beautiful prism light in your house. It’s so beautiful.

    Once again, I enjoyed seeing what you kept this month. These posts teach me more and more about YOU!

    Have a superb week, my friend! X

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    1. They are, aren’t they?? I love the colors so much. She was so special, and I love that she’s alive in those irises.

      It’s such a beautiful sign!

      Cardinals are my favorite bird! I always talk to them. Mourning doves are my second favorite, followed by crows. I hate even saying this because I don’t like playing favorites with the birds. 🤣

      I loved getting it! It just got better and better each day — so beautiful.

      It was a lightbulb moment for me as well.

      It’s those stickers on the window! I love those things so much.

      I love that they are teaching you about me! That’s such a lovely thing to say, friend. Have a beautiful week. 😘💜

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    1. That tree tunnel always makes me smile. I don’t get to go down that road very often, but when I do, it makes me happy.

      I hope I can make a bed as cozy as my mom does. Goals. 💜

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  15. I love that tree tunnel. I made one just yesterday, though I did it with some aggressive pruning of cedar hedge plants.

    I love that Joan Didion quote. I am that Joan Didion quote.

    I love a rainbow, and my mom always thought the doubles lucky.

    I love irises, though I grew up calling them “flags.”

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    1. I love that you made a tunnel with your hedge! That’s such a great idea!

      I am the Didion quote too.

      I’ve also heard a double rainbow is lucky — here’s hoping!

      Flags! Do you know why you call them that? I love that.

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      1. My mom called them flags, and she got it from my grandmother who was originally from England. It’s a common name for them there 😊 she also called border carnations “pinks,” which I found lovely.

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  16. What resonated with me is your sweet mom making your bed warm and cozy for you..and that you remembered that gesture all these years later. Does your mom know that sticks with you? Mother Carrying Things is so perfect. Thanks for sharing that with us!

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    1. Yes! I love that memory so much. I think about it all the time. I don’t know if she does, but she reads my blog every week and tells me she loves certain things — so I’m sure we’ll be talking about it tonight when I’m over there. 💜

      I found that poem on Instagram last week, probably because some of my friends liked it. That’s when the algorithm actually works!

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  17. The arched trees are magic! As are Orphas flowers that continue to thrive in your presence. What a gift she gave you and I hope she can see how her life has carried on elsewhere.

    Mom making your bed warm for you; what an act of love.

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  18. You kept so many wonderful things during June! Oh gosh, the irises from Orpha really touched me – what a beautiful way to be reminded of your friend, even if briefly. I love the quote about being out of the loop on purpose! I am SO out of the loop! I can’t deal with the loop. I love your selfie and your henna tattoo.

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    1. June brought me so many treasures! Every time I go outside into the yard, I think of her — isn’t that a wonderful legacy?

      I can’t deal with it either, Michelle.

      Thank you — I love them too. 💜

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  20. Wow! I love Talk Talk! So many good things in this post. Orpha’s lilies and irises – that’s just wonderful. The book excerpt that you began with, so sad and heart wrenching. If I’m honest, I feel as though being physically punished as a child really set a tone with my mother that I’ve never been able to get past. Sad, but true.

    How long does the henna tattoo last? I’ve never seen one that was 2 dimensional like that. Very cool Your zinnias will be amazing! I still feel like I’m carrying stuff for my kids, even though they are all adults. Sometimes that’s good and sometimes not so good.

    I hope you are having a nice holiday weekend. I was excited to read your posts again, after my break. XO

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    1. I love Talk Talk too!
      I understand that completely, friend. Physical punishment really changes a person.
      It lasted almost two weeks! At the beginning it was really pretty, but I kept thinking I had a stain on my hand! 🤣
      The zinnias are getting ready to bloom! Like, today! I am still carrying things for my children too. I think most parents are.
      I had a good weekend. Mike was sick, so that wasn’t good, but we made the best of it. I am so glad to see you back! I missed you. 😘

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