Grief, Humor, Life, What I Kept

what i kept – july 2025

Kari

i began writing this series in may 2022, not intending to make it a tradition. but it stayed—and so did you. thank you for showing up each month.

every time i see the personal growth section in a bookstore i think of the movie when harry met sally
that blue vomit bag rests, untouched, a reminder of my dad’s chemo days. it was never used, yet i can’t throw it away.
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my childhood candy store – where i saw the salt water taffy that made me question its name

last year (or maybe the year before), my friend judy shared a piece of artwork she’d found at a local thrift store — young girl reading by jean-honoré fragonard. i had to look it up because when i saw her photo, i squealed. that artwork used to hang in my childhood home.

then, one day, while flipping through an old photo album, i found a picture with the artwork in the background. i sent it to judy right away — it felt like uncovering a forgotten treasure.

the clouds look like mountains
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a murder of crows
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how ella sees me
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our neighbors don’t have a gray pilot. i haven’t seen that car there since i took this picture at the beginning of july.

since april, i’ve been seeing my dad’s gray honda pilot everywhere. technically, it’s my mom’s car too, but he was the one who picked it out. he did most of the driving. he loved that car.

every day when i’m out, i see that exact model—same color, same body style. in parking lots, at stoplights, in traffic.

you know me—i can’t help but connect it to my dad. like he’s sending a message. moving energy in the only way he can: through a gray honda pilot.

the other day, on my way to lunch with my friend rebecca, i spotted my daily honda pilot three cars ahead of me. i don’t know why, but on this day it made me cry.

so i cried and talked to my dad.

not long after, this song came on my car stereo:

recently i had seen a tiktok of men dancing down the aisle to that same song toward their daughters and granddaughters. it touched me in the best way, so i saved it to watch again someday.

@makinjoey19

#throwbackthursday … that time I performed in #daddydaughtherdance them rehearsals wasn’t no joke , but the end results was priceless #dancing #tuxedo #goodtimes

♬ original sound – makinJoey19

maybe it’s not my dad. maybe it’s just the universe reminding me i’m protected, even if he’s not here. or maybe there are just a hell of a lot of gray honda pilots in the universe.

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59 thoughts on “what i kept – july 2025”

  4. Don’t you just LOVE that scene from When Harry Met Sally (with Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan, Carrie Fisher)?!?! In fact, the whole movie is my favorite Nora Ephron film. I own it on DVD and watch it at least twice a year. I’m a sucker for romantic comedies.

    Kari, I LOVE that entry by Melanie Italian Lau. It’s SO true! And I also LOVE the quote by Bill Murray.

    That photo of you with the art work behind you is precious! And so it the story of your discovery!

    That sunset capture is magnificent. WOW, the orange sky is stunning!

    Listening to that Spinners song brought back a TON of great memories for me. Isn’t it something how hearing a song, instantly transports you back to a time when you first heard it?

    Thanks for sharing what you kept, my friend. Thoroughly enjoyed. Have a superb week!

    X

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    1. YES! I loved that movie so much. I haven’t watched it in a long time—definitely going to watch it again soon. It’s one of my favorite cozy movies. I’m a sucker for romantic movies too, Ron.

      I found that first quote thanks to a man on TikTok who said he doesn’t usually like quotes, but this one was the only one that stuck with him.

      I love that picture of me with the artwork. Such a cool story.

      Isn’t it beautiful?

      YES! I love that song too. Music is magic—how it transports us.

      Thank you so much for reading and leaving such thoughtful comments, dear friend. xoxo

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  7. I recognize that Harry children’s book! You know I just love that Forest = For rest and that cloud photo where they look like mountains is just incredible.

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    1. I’d never thought of forest as for-rest. What a lovely way to look at it.

      That was taken on my mom’s deck—I get the most beautiful sky pictures there.

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  8. Kari, as usual you have kept so many wonderful things. But that drawing by Ella is absolutely delightful! It made me so happy to see that! The raccoon that wants to bite people made me laugh so hard! I feel that way so often!

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    1. She’s such a wonderful artist! Her drawings make me so happy. She draws every single day!

      I feel that way so often too—I’m glad I’m not alone!

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  10. I say and/ or think “someone is staring at you in Personal Growth” at least once per day. That is my favourite movie and every single moment is gold.

    Your zinnias! They’re beautiful! I love that picture of you as a child as well.

    Lol, I hear you, raccoon. Also I feel seen with respect to the dog, as Rex just tracked dead grass through the house. Ah well, I’d rather have him than clean floors.

    That difference of opinion poem is great!

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    1. OMG! I LOVE THAT! That’s one of my all-time favorite movie quotes! 💜

      Aren’t they? Our backyard ones are struggling—only one has bloomed. I’ll be writing about it in next week’s post.

      I’d rather have him than clean floors!       I gave up that battle a long time ago. I told Mike, I’ll only do the floors once a day—otherwise I’ll drive myself nuts.

      Isn’t it??

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  11. Little you is so darn cute. I want to hug her.

    I remember Harry the Dirty Dog book! I liked that book when I was little. I had forgotten about that book – thank you for sparking my memory.

    I must’ve been a raccoon in a previous life. ;-)

    Ella’s drawing of you is sooo good.

    I love that you see gray Honda Pilots a lot. I hope they make you smile.

    Love the quote about knowing someone’s pain…and that sharing in it is to relieve some of it. Absolutely! And to feel seen and heard.

    xoxo

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    1. Isn’t she? I think I’m going to print that picture out and keep it above my desk. 💜

      I’d forgotten about it too! I found that picture on Pinterest. It reminded me of Biscuits—he loves to get dirty.

      ME TOO. 🤣

      It is! I love her artwork so much. I want to create a gallery wall of it.

      They always make me smile. It’s like a fun seek-and-find game every day.

      YES. Isn’t that the truth?

      I can’t wait to see you on Friday!

      xoxo

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  14. Ohh! I love so many things about this post! Of course, the “reading” painting! Sometimes I find the world to be so cool and feel that we have this connection that was meant to be.

    Ella’s drawing of you..priceless. Now I’m wondering what it would look like if my artist son drew one as he saw me. Hmm..I might request that!

    Bite people? Yes, sometimes I would like to. But I’m patiently waiting for the world to be kind again too. Aren’t we all….

    I’m saving this post of yours. Lots of good stuff in it to reflect back on.

    Oh, yeah, your Dad is always following you in his car and checking up on you.

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    1. I love our connection with this artwork. 💜

      You should definitely request it! This drawing happened when we were out to dinner with her and some other friends. I said to her, “Do you think my hair looks like that? Because I want this hairstyle!”

      I’m on that same spectrum—some days wanting to bite, and others patiently waiting for kindness to return.

      Aww, I love that you’re saving it!

      I feel like he is. There can’t be that many dark gray Honda Pilots out there. 💜

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  15. Sections this guy wants to see in the bookstore is a great list. The photo of you with the very painting Judy was referencing, so cool. From what I’ve heard grief hits you when it hits you, and it sounds like the Honda sightings are sweet reminders of your dad. My dad drives a Buick Rendez Vous, and when he passes, I don’t think I’ll be running across those very often – but who knows, maybe they’ll crop up on a daily basis. I love the photo of Biscuit driving in the passenger seat, such a funny perspective.

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    1. Grief still hits when it hits—not like in the beginning, but it still does.

      He never used to love riding in the car, but that night, he actually had fun.

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  16. Based on the book excerpts, I think you’d like it. Every episode has a different theme, with 3 people telling their personal stories, from a stage, before an audience. It’s well done!

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  17. Kari, I love, love, love that song by the Spinners. I mean, it’s timeless, like the love for your father. I’m wondering if I’m going to start seeing Gray Honda Pilots now…you know, via your blog? I hope so.

    The picture of you drawn by your daughter? AMAZING!

    How fun to see the painting of the lady, then and now? Does your mom remember where she got it? Where did it go?

    So many good little nuggets in this post. XO

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    1. I love that song too, friend. And I hope you start seeing them—let me know if you do. 💜

      She’s such an amazing artist.

      My grandmother got it at a furniture store in Ohio. My mom thinks it might be in their basement in a moving box. I hope to find it someday.

      Thank you, friend! 😘

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  19. Kari, as ever, so much loveliness in your post. I had to snap the bit about indigenous cultures believing we’re alive just as nature is alive – such a powerful reminder, especially when times are tough that the way through is not to ramp up the drive to achieve but just to be.

    I adore Ella’s drawing of you – and I think it totally captures your essence <3

    Like your Gray Honda pilot, we have a robin who visits outside our patio door most days. I remember someone telling me ages ago that a robin represents someone you’ve loved and lost, so I tend to say “hello Dad” when I see it. The other day, as I said it, tears unexpectedly flowed. I think he was trying to get me to understand that I need to take time to rest and recover. Like so many of us, I’ve a tendency to push through and to say “no I can’t” whenever anyone suggests having a break. My Osteopath has now been firm and threatened to sign me off work medically, so I’m gratefully sinking into giving myself a break and resting. I don’t know how long it will take, but I will be doing all I can not to rush back, so can reassure the little robin when I see him next.

    Much love <3

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    1. Isn’t that such a powerful reminder? I was just thinking about it this morning while making the bed. I feel like I need to print it out and keep one in every room of my house.

      I love that you think it captures my essence—and I love that she sees me that way too.

      Oh, Deb, this moved me so much. I love that you have a robin who visits you—what a beautiful and gentle presence, especially when you’re being reminded to rest. I completely relate to the instinct to push through and say “I’m fine” when really, our bodies and hearts are asking for something else entirely. I’m so glad your osteopath stepped in and that you’re giving yourself the gift of slowing down. It’s not easy, but it’s so necessary. I hope your time of rest brings you clarity, comfort, and deep healing. I’ll be thinking of your little robin—and your dad—reminding you that it’s more than okay to pause.

      Much love in return.💜

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  20. I have so many favorites from this post, I can’t enumerate them. Two that stand out: the photo of you (that grin!!!!) and the drawing Ella did (gorgeous).

    I saw a post the other day that made me think of you. It’s an excerpt from Imaginary Elegies by Jack Spicer (the post was made by D. A. Powell):

    This much I’ve learned
    In these five years in what I’ve spent and earned:
    Time does not finish a poem.
    Upon the old amusement pier I watch
    The creeping darkness gather in the west.
    Above the giant funhouse and the ghosts
    I hear the seagulls call. They’re going west
    Toward some grate Cataline of a dream
    Out where the poem ends.
    But does it end?
    The birds are still in flight.
    Believe the birds.

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  21. Kari! These are all great!!! How do I comment on them all? 😅

    The Lau quote: Heard a garden talk decades ago about nature & our views on nature/natural spaces. The question: does a natural space have to “do” something to have value? Can a space just “be”?

    Startling to see the Lau quote framing the question about people. Gah.

    And in Lau’s world nature is alive to just “be here”…. Where is this mythical place?

    The Heartwood quote – I try to meet people where they are. Helps with those moments that quote references. Doesn’t make things less sad but helps you not falter when the situation veers unexpectedly. And you’re open to finding unexpected gifts.

    Heck yah Bill Murray, Tolstoy and Harry the Dog. Every day is a fresh start. Imagine if every 5 minutes was too? That’s prob the Harry way. Or dementia. If now is good, appreciate the heck out of it.

    Ella is uber talented! Omg!!! You look so 70s groovy. All that emotion in your features & the natural movement of your hair. Dang. Talent!!

    Your dad is totally watching over you and sending gra/ey Pilots your way. That’s love.

    Hummingbirds have always watched over me. I even rescued one once. Like holding a promise. They still check in on me. No obv reason why. I don’t know who but I know it is love.

    Next time you see a gra/ey Pilot, say hi to your dad for me! 💚

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    1. Yes, exactly. It hit me when I read this—how even in nature, we’re trained to assign value based on usefulness: shade, fruit, flowers, pollination. But what if existing is enough? What if being here—alive, breathing, rooted—is the whole point?

      When I read that quote, I thought about how far we’ve strayed from simply being. How even suggesting we’re not here just to work feels almost childlike. And how, when I say it out loud, people look at me with pity. Like the desire to rest means I don’t understand how the world works.

      Yes, that’s such a grounded way to move through those moments. It doesn’t take the sadness away, but it softens the edges. I love how you put that.

      “If now is good, appreciate the heck out of it.” YES.

      Isn’t she? I’m getting my hair trimmed today and showing her that picture!

      He is. My friend Melanie (who reads this blog) and I went to lunch yesterday, and as we were gabbing away while walking to her car, I noticed there was a gray Pilot parked one spot over from hers. I said, “Melanie—look.” She got goosebumps. My dad was with us. 💜

      I love that hummingbirds watch over you! And that you rescued one? Omg, Maddie.

      I will definitely say hi to him for you! 😘🌈

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  22. I love that you are seeing the gray Honda Pilots! I’m going for a walk this morning with a friend to a nature preserve and hope I spot some butterflies.

    Also love the childhood home artwork connection. When I was going through my mom’s things two years ago, I found various knick knacks that I thought were long gone. It was good to see them again and I gave some of them to my son, who is the most nostalgic of my three kids. He now has my childhood cookie jar.

    I couldn’t agree more that my biggest regret is failures of kindness. That lesson/moral should be taught in school.

    Sections of a bookstore is great! Not only maps, but can we please have more books that have a genealogy chart in the front to keep track of the novel’s characters??

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    1. It’s so funny I’m seeing this now. I just left my friend Melanie after meeting for lunch and a yoga class, and she texted me a picture of a gray Honda Pilot in front of her on the way home. 💜

      I hope you see so many butterflies. I saw a huge one fly over us last night while we were sitting in traffic — I thought of you. 😘

      I love that your son is nostalgic. That makes me so happy for you and your family.

      Kindness and compassion should totally be taught — now more than ever.

      Ooh! That’s a good idea!

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  23. I love that ending line, “the world goes on being round.” Perfect!
    The dog/car photo is cool.
    I’m with Langston.
    How awesome that you are open to receiving the signs the universe sends you… have a wonderful day!

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    1. RIGHT? I loved that too.

      Biscuits looks like a little old man sitting in his seat, doesn’t he? 💜

      Me too.

      Right? Mike and Melanie have also been spotting Gray Pilots in the wild now too!

      I hope you have a wonderful day as well, Steve!

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