Favorite Things, Life, Soul Homework

the many versions of me

in 2019, i found a journal at target called 2,000 things about me. i love things like this—books full of lists, all about me and what i love. narcissistic? maybe. but honestly, it’s more about the writing than the self-delving.



in 2020, after doing some soul homework with my new self, i decided to revisit the journal. i was ready to shred my old, less-than-perfect self and prove how much i’d grown.

reading through it recently, i couldn’t help but laugh at 2020 me—so high and mighty, crossing out half of my 2019 answers. who did i think i was?

kari 2.0, apparently.

last year, i found the same journal at meijer-this one with a thousand more questions.



bring. it. on.

i finished it, and i thought it would be fun to compare my answers with 2019 and 2020 me.

so here are 20 of them for your reading pleasure.

i truly believe that if i didn’t have a blog or a journal – or do my soul homework – i’d be insufferable. it’s good to peek into my dark corners now and then, even if it comes in the form of a 3,000-question get-to-know-me journal from the store.

but all joking aside, this has also been a fascinating experiment during a very interesting stretch of life. between 2019 and 2025, i lived through a pandemic, shifts in our political landscape, deep soul-changing work, menopause, one daughter leaving for college, another navigating public school after homeschooling, the death of a childhood friend while we were no longer speaking, and then the loss of my father.

what a gift this journaling has been—and continues to be.


1- what do you need to grow?

2019 — huh?

2020 — i was so negative last year! i’m growing now — i need to keep reading, listening to others, and love myself.

2025 — space, love, empathy, kindness, nature, animals


2- what’s the first impression you want to give people?

2019 — i’m happy and funny

2020 — that i’ve got good energy

2025 — that i listen when they talk


3- if you could live anywhere, where would that be?

2019 — california: on the ocean, destin, in the mountains

2020 — same, or maybe europe

2025 — where i live now



4- do you have a nerdy side? if so, what brings it out?

2019 — john hughes trivia

2020 — same, and music trivia as well

2025 — i’m all nerdy side


5- what is the simplest truth you can express in words?

2019 — (i left it blank)

2020 — it’s not you, it’s them

2025 — we all die


6- if you started a business tomorrow, what would it be?

2019 — house flipping

2020 — home staging, candle making, donut making, puppy adoption

2025 — reiki, massage, grief support


Photo by Rainer Eck on Pexels.com

7- describe mondays for you in one word or phrase

2019 — long

2020 — just another day

2025 — reset


8- what is the best thing about being you?

2019 — i’m very caring and friendly

2020 — i’m forgiving, i’m learning, i’m growing

2025 — i notice the little things


9- what relationship or friendship do you regret ended?

2019 — it used to bother me about friends i’ve lost, but now, i honestly have no regrets

2020 — none. i’ve moved on.

2025 — wendy


10- what is something you’re doing that you never thought you would do?

2019 — writing a blog

2020 — soul searching

2025 — yoga



11- what is something you don’t mind paying more money for?

2019 — massage or pedicure

2020 — food

2025 — weed


12- what or who made the biggest impression on you in the last year?

2019 — ella

2020 — me

2025 — grief


13- name your biggest what if

2019 — what if i went away to college?

2020 — what if i didn’t fail?

2025 — what if none of us had childhood trauma?


14 what do you need more of?

2019 — sunshine

2020 — sunshine, confidence, bravery

2025 — time away from social media


15- what is the best thing to happen to you this year?

2019 — therapy and going to california

2020 — slowing down, soul homework

2025 — watching my daughters follow their dreams



16- what is your vision for you and your family’s future?

2019 — to still be close

2020 — to have a close bond

2025 — i don’t have one. one day at a time.


17- what’s something new you learned about yourself?

2019 — i have adhd (i didn’t get diagnosed, so i don’t know why i wrote this 🤣)

2020 — i’m done with my periods forever

2025 — i don’t enjoy cleaning, but i do enjoy the result


18- what is the main quality you think makes you a good parent?

2019 — putting their needs ahead of mine

2020 — listen and apologize when i’m wrong

2025 — deep compassion and emotional maturity


19- if happiness were the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

2019 — decorating homes

2020 — writing

2025 — helping create zen / safe / quiet spaces in other’s homes



20- if someone asked you to give them a random piece of advice, what would you say?

2019 — stay at home with the kids

2020 — live moment to moment

2025 — take care of yourself first – mentally and physically – before taking care of others


journaling has been a gift—sometimes fun, sometimes serious, always a way to check in with myself. maybe if you peek into your own corners every now and then, you’ll notice the ways you’re shifting, too. 💜🌈


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31 thoughts on “the many versions of me”

  1. Thanks for sharing such a vulnerable glimpse into your mind. I love observing the change over time. 💜🌈

    Also “that i listen when they talk” is such a great first impression goal, and the random piece of advice to take care of yourself first is so good, and something I think we ALL need to be reminded of.

    I may need to track down this journal or one similar. It looks like a lot of fun!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do too, friend!

      Listening and taking care of ourselves sounds so simple, but somehow we all need the reminders. I still need to remind myself. 🤣

      The journals are by a company called Picadilly, but they’re not sold online by the company. You usually find them at stores like Target and Meijer. If I come across another one, I’m definitely buying it!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is very interesting! 2025 Kari possesses a pronounced maturity that 2019/2020 Kari didn’t quite have. Or maybe it’s a world-weariness. Either way, I laughed over your answer to #11. Funny how our priorities change based on what’s going on in our lives, huh? I wish I had done these journals; it would be fun to compare. Best I can do is read through my old blog posts, as I have been doing for quite some time now.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Definitely world-weariness! I laughed at #11 too—though I still agree with my other versions on that question.

      It’s so much fun to compare ourselves to older versions of who we were. I’m glad we have blogs for that reason. 💜

      Like

  3. My mom filled out most of that 2000 book and mailed it to me! That’s fun! She and I also did a mother/daughter scrapbook before she died. You can build so many fun projects around things like this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, Engie, I love this. 💜

      You’re right—so many fun projects! I’m definitely going to look for this journal in the future and keep filling it out.

      Like

  4. What strikes me the most is how much 2025 Kari wouldn’t exist without 2020 Kari. I love that the best thing about being 2020 Kari is “i’m forgiving, i’m learning, i’m growing.” Yeah! I think the kind of growing you’ve done in the past 6 years parallels that of so many of us. How could we not be different after living through our collective losses and other traumas. Your biggest what if? was a gut punch–what if none of us had childhood trauma? Yes yes yes. I’ve been here for each iteration of Kari, and they are all wonderful in their own way. Never insufferable. 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was thinking about 2002 me this morning during soul homework and cried because I realized how much I’ve learned on my own since then. I don’t shame her—I only have deep compassion for her. (long story) That’s something 2019 Kari wouldn’t have been able to do. And I don’t judge 2019 Kari for it either.

      I love that you’ve been here for all of it, my friend. You mean so much to me. 😘💜

      Like

  5. “I’m all nerdy side” – I love it!

    It’s so interesting to see how we grow and change with the years and with experiences. This is one of the reasons I love having a blog! I love looking back to see where I “was” at a certain time of life.

    In a fit of pique I got rid of all my journals that I kept when I was young, and I regret that now. I was embarrassed! But now I would think more kindly on Younger Me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too! I’ve always been a nerdy girl, and I love that about me.

      ME TOO! We’re so lucky we started a blog years ago, aren’t we? I wish everyone had that kind of outlet.

      Oh no! I totally get that. I have one diary from high school, but I didn’t really keep diaries growing up, and now I wish I had. I’m making up for it now. 💜

      Like

  6. I love the comparisons and it does seem like you’ve ‘matured,’ if that’s the right word. I have to say, many of your answers in 2019 would be my answers today :) We could have started a successful home staging business! Just sayin’

    I don’t like losing contact with people, so I feel regret for every friendship that has ended. Travel is always the best part of any year for me. 2020 was very difficult for me and honestly, it still pisses me off to think about losing more than a year of my life and all the family moments that were lost.

    Thank you for sharing so much insight into your life, Kari. You always give me a lot to think about. XO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love that you vibe with 2019 me! That just means we get each other, even across timelines. I love that so much. And if we lived closer, we could totally have a home staging business—how fun would that be?

      I still feel a little sad for relationships that have ended, though not as much as I used to, since I’ve realized maybe they weren’t meant to be with this version of me. I’m grateful I had them in my life at all. 2020 was definitely a hard year.

      Thank you for being such a kind friend. I’m so grateful for you. 😘💜

      Like

  7. This is beautiful, Kari. It’s fun to see how you’ve changed and grown over the years. I know I’ve changed a lot since 2019, in both good and not so good ways. The pandemic, illness, grief and loss have left me feeling weary and wary in a way that I can’t quite overcome. And yet, I’m also more grateful and happier than I’ve ever been.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, thank you so much, Michelle. It’s really fun to see the changes on paper, because I don’t always notice them in myself.

      I completely understand the feeling of weariness alongside feelings of gratitude—I feel that too. 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  8. What an interesting read, and how fascinating it must have been to see the changes laid out on the paper in front of you.

    I do love a fun journal.

    Your 2025 answers reveal a person who’s more contemplative and seeking more depth from their life and their interactions than they were in 2019/2020, though you can already see the begins of your journey. Your focus also seems to have shifted away from the material to the more ephemeral, and to living the good life of the philosophers. It’s nice to see growth in black and white: I’m inspired to go poking about in some of my old journals.

    Point thirteen is brilliant: what would the world look like without childhood trauma?

    Point eleven made me laugh out loud: same, same.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It really was.

      Let me know if you do go poking; I would love to see what you find. 💜

      Right?? I feel like it would definitely be different.

      I’m glad I’m not alone. 🤣😘

      Like

  9. This is a really cool read – I hope it was a fun, interesting experience for you to do this. I always liked these types of books, too. My parents bought me a hardback book when I was 5 called “All About Me” (I think). It might’ve even had Dr Seuss characters in it. Anyway, I loved filling it out and drawing pictures in it. I wonder if I still have it. Maybe it’s packed away in a box in the basement.

    I gave my dad this type of book for him to fill out about himself as a grandpa when Philip was born. He only filled out part of it, but what a treasure, now that my dad is gone.

    xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was such a fun experiment. I love seeing how I’ve changed over the years, especially since doing soul homework.

      I love those kinds of books—they’re so much fun to fill out.

      I gave my dad a similar book, but he never filled it out. I really wish he had.

      😘💜

      Like

  10. Kari, what a fascinating read this must’ve been for you. Thank you so much for your openness in sharing the results with us too.

    The first thing I did on reading this is to order a copy for myself. I couldn’t find the exact same thing, but it looks along the same lines. I’m really looking forward to working through it and must remember to keep a blank version so I can keep updating it.

    I can see my responses from 2019 being very similar to yours. I loved your “huh?” response to question 1. So honest, and would’ve been mine if I wasn’t thinking about how it would look!

    Like

  11. So interesting! Thank you for being willing to share.

    It has me wondering if I’d want to write this kind of journal. I wonder if the answers would be truly reflective of Me, or just the Me At The Time I Was Answering The Question(s). I’m not normally a volatile or capricious person, but sometimes, a lot can depend upon the day or how I feel in general.

    (Not that it’s vitally important.)

    Like

  12. I love that you journal and you KEEP everything! Wow, girl..it’s really cool how you have changed. Then again, my answers would change just by time of day..lol. You poured your heart out, even if you answered in 2-3 words. You’re one of the most soulful and honest person I know.

    Like

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