New York City, Baby!

 

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I flew to New York City with my friend Jen last week — and boy, are my arms tired, as my dad would say. A few months ago, I wrote about how my friend won a trip to see The Bethenny Show and invited me to come along.

I am definitely the Rhoda in this friendship.

I was quite honored that she chose me to go, and since I had never been to New York City before, I was very excited at the prospect.

That is, until the week of the trip.

Then I started getting nervous.
REALLY nervous.

I have many neuroses—one of them is that I’m terrified of flying without my children, should the plane go down in flames and leave my daughters as orphans.

I’ve only flown twice without both children: Once when Anna was three and Mike and I went to a wedding in South Carolina, and once with Annie (but without Ellie) when she and I flew to Florida to meet my parents in June.

I told my friend on the plane, in essence, that it took nearly everything I had to physically get out of my car that morning at the airport—with a sobbing five-year-old in the back seat, mind you—and get on that aircraft.

This trip was kind of a big deal.
For many reasons, but definitely because of the above.
And it will most likely never happen again—unless my entire family comes with me.

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Then my suitcase got sick and died—but thankfully, my friend Rebecca came to the rescue and lent me one of hers.

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While waiting at O’Hare for our plane, I politely asked the woman at the American Airlines desk if our flight was on time. She, visibly annoyed by my question, replied, “Should be,” without even looking up.

I went back to Jen, relayed the reply, and sarcastically said how glad I was to be flying with such confidence at American Airlines.

It wasn’t until we landed in New York City that we realized: Miss Personality was our co-pilot.

Lesson: Don’t ask your pilots about flight schedules. 

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The Bethenny Show sent a driver for Jen (and me, by default).
I was so excited that “we” had a driver, I wanted to work that fact into every conversation while we were there. Something like: “I don’t really know how to navigate midtown traffic… you know, since we have a driver.”

Meet Walter. Our driver.

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While Walter was driving us from the airport to our hotel somewhere in Manhattan, I tried to take some pictures out the window.

See that green sign under the rearview mirror?
It says “Brooklyn.”
I got so excited because we were close enough to Brooklyn to see a sign for Brooklyn.

So yes—that sign says “Brooklyn.”
You’re just going to have to trust me.

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Hello, New York City.

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This, my friends, was the hotel lobby.
I never saw anything like it in my life.

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I loved our room. 

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New York City is famous for many things.
One of them?
Minuscule bathrooms.

Which, as you can imagine, is a logistical nightmare when you’ve got two women trying to get ready for their television debut.

Well—my television debut.
My friend had already been on TV several times.

Wait a second! I HAVE been on TV before!

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At the end of the Channel 7 newscast here in Chicago, they move the cameras outside to the street—to show the hooligans (I mean, common folk… the people of Chicago) gathered outside the studio.

I was one of those people once. Just waiting on the sidewalk. Living the dream.

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We didn’t have to wait in it since my friend had won the trip!

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Above is what the “VIP room” looks like.
This is nothing like the “green room.” 

We didn’t get snacks or bottled water. 
We DID, however, get to watch a video about Bethenny Frankel’s life over and over.

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They gave everyone one of these forms to fill out and that was their first mistake.
Giving me ANYTHING with spaces to write something on, that is.

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Backstage, there were “important” papers just laying around—schedules, rundowns, scripts.
I don’t know why I didn’t snag a couple, because that’s usually something I would do.

But then I didn’t want to be the “bad seed” who “ruins it for everyone,” according to my friend.

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We had to wait in line and I really do hate waiting in line for celebrities. 

I really should have eaten breakfast, I’m getting cranky. I guess I thought there would be M&M’s or Chex Mix in the VIP room.

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Ooh, I do love behind the scenes. I wonder what this button does…

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I’m not going to lie—when I got out here, I was a little giddy.
Or maybe that was just the caffeine on an empty stomach.

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I made a duck face because I was so hungry—my face just started puckering on its own.

This was actually the last picture we took until the show was over, because taking pictures is frowned upon during taping—even during commercials, as my friend found out.

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So here’s what happened:

• The “audience coordinator,” or as I called her, the funny lady with curly hair, told jokes, held dance contests on stage, and had us dancing to Beyoncé — you name it.

• They work you into a frenzy. Case in point: when I would watch the show at home and hear/see the audience dancing and going crazy during the theme song Calling All My Girls, I’d shake my head thinking, LOOK HOW STUPID THEY LOOK. NO WAY THAT’LL BE ME.

THAT WILL BE YOU.

You get so much adrenaline pumped into you from the curly-haired lady yelling,
“WHO IS COMIN’ OUT THAT DOOR? WHO IS COMIN’ OUT THAT DOOR??”
that by the time Bethenny actually walks out, I was ready to buy any and all Amway products she was selling.
“YES, YES, I NEED THE FLOOR WAX, BETHENNY!! CALLIN’ ALL MY GIRLSSSSS!! PASS THE FLOOR CLEANER!”

• Bethenny is good at what she does. She didn’t have to do any retakes or whatever they call it when celebrities mess up their lines. She was professional and seemed pretty down-to-earth for a celebrity. She even offered a guest in the audience a breath mint. Don’t worry — we probably all needed one since they didn’t give us snacks.

• Bethenny recognized Jen when she raised her hand to speak about the topic. She said, “Don’t I know you?” or something like that. My friend mentioned how she won the contest and something like, “Here’s Kari — you talked to her on the phone.”

And this is when Bethenny looked at me like she had no idea what the hell Jen was talking about. The camera probably won’t capture that, but I saw it. It’s all good though — I got on camera! But I can’t wait to see the goofy CALLIN’ ALL MY GIRLS, I LOVE YOU BETHENNY look I gave millions of viewers. Which is part of why I might not tell you when the show airs.

Later note: They cut that part out.

Since my friend is basically best friends with Bethenny at this point, during a commercial break, as Bethenny walked by, Jen said, “Can we get a picture together?”
Bethenny got down off the stage after filming, looked up at us, and waved us down — which was really nice. It felt genuine because she was super busy, and for her to remember we wanted a picture was a sweet gesture.
The only other people down there were security guards (lots of them), producers, and the like.

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Remember the time I stood next to Bethenny Frankel?
Neither do I.

It was a blur, and I was numb from the neck down.

And see those girls above our heads?
Don’t they look a little upset?

Because here’s the thing—we were the only people in the audience that day to get a picture with Bethenny.

The more I look at it, the more I realize this might just be the best photobomb ever.

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The restaurant right behind the registration desk is called Tequila Park and leads to an outdoor area.

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One last look at the city from our room.

I’m sure it wasn’t easy to put up with me and my nervous energy the entire time, but I’m so glad I pushed myself to go—and so grateful Jen chose to share this gift with me. It was an amazing experience I’ll never forget.

The episode of Bethenny airs today, November 18th, so check your local listings.