First published September 3, 2013
The list is long and mighty.
Why I will never be famous.
For one, I don’t like high heels.
And I definitely don’t own a Vespa.
But I got an email last Friday afternoon and in a nutshell, the public relations person from Bethenny Frankel’s new talk show emailed me to see if I would want to come to a cocktail party in downtown Chicago and party with Bethenny Frankel.
The following Tuesday.
Four days later.
At six in the evening.
On a school night.
At first, I thought it was spam because why would Bethenny Frankel want me to be there?
The first thing I did was to email my friend Jen.
Jen is my go-to person for basically everything involving PR, writing a professional-sounding email, and also me telling her new words that we need to use.
Holy shitsnacks is the newest one.
Start spreading the news.
That will make much more sense in a couple of minutes.
2020 note- Holy shitsnacks needs to make a comeback. This year seems appropriate.
I forwarded her the email and said, “did you also get this email?” because they usually invite her to the who’s who events around these parts.
I get invited to openings of arboretums and Super Saturday sales at stores that I have never heard of.
Here is a gist of the conversation:
Me- Do you think I should go to that Bethenny thing? I would have to get a sitter. I don’t want to go alone.
J- YES! 100 TIMES YES! Your snarky sense of humor and blog is WHY THEY PICKED YOU! YOU TOTALLY NEED TO GO! And you can tell Bethenny that I love her.
Me- I know, but it’s a school night. So I would have to ask Anna bc, my neighbor who helps me out is out-of-town next week. Why are you yelling?
J- Are you comfortable in a dress? If not, cute Capri’s, heels that won’t hurt your feet and an adorable shirt THAT YOUR BRA WON’T HANG OUT OF.
Had I gotten the invite just one week earlier, I would have done it.
But alas, it was not meant to be.
Reasons excuses why I couldn’t go into the city and hang with Bethenny Frankel:
This was my nail situation as of Monday night, the eve of the party.
Do you want total honesty?
I was peeling the polish off my fingers over a bowl while watching Real Housewives of Orange County the night before I took this.
I lead a glamorous life.
I ate eggs the day of.
Lots and lots of eggs.
Eggs don’t lead to good things.
Especially when you are in a room full of women in downtown Chicago.
I got a coupon at the recent Blogher convention for those pre-cooked deviled eggs from Eggland’s Best, and so I sat on my couch with the bag of pre-cooked deviled eggs and ate all of them.
In one sitting.
reasons excuses why I couldn’t go started piling up:
Anna had soccer tryouts after school; the train schedule wasn’t in my favor; Mike had to work; there weren’t any cute dresses at Kohl’s that day…..you see where this is going.
2020 note- Oh, we see.
Oh. I can make a sign. Signs are my thing.
So off I went.
To make a sign.
I did, however, have a rough draft.
Who the hell says that? Me.
|Photo credit- Bev Horne/ Staff Photographer
That, my friends, is Bethenny Frankel talking to me on the phone.
So I guess I am going to New York City.
What am I gonna wear??