Anxiety, Garden, Humor, Life, Migraine, Soul Homework

Summer Is Kicking My A…

Kari

I don’t want to test the universe’s patience. So I didn’t finish the word. I have a feeling the universe doesn’t know how to spell?

Back pain

My lower back started hurting out of nowhere about six weeks ago. Anxiety sufferers are not friends with pain that appears out of nowhere. My thoughts immediately went to dark places.

Am I being irrational? Yes. But the last three years have also been irrational. Nonetheless, I did something completely rational. I waited it out. I did yoga. I iced it. I walked every day. I journaled. I cried.

I had an annual gynecologist appointment coming up, so I told myself I’d ask her what to do, which I did. She performed an ultrasound to ensure that there was nothing wrong with the lady parts. All good there.

WARNING: TMI. Look away if you’re eating Cheerios.

Upon inspection of the ultrasound, she did mention that I’m constipated, which could be contributing to my discomfort.

“So you’re telling me I’m full of shit?”

“Yes. Yes, I am. We have a term for that. FOS.”

After telling me that I’m FOS, she advised me to make an appointment with my regular doctor.

When I called on July 6th, the earliest available appointment was August 30th. I didn’t freak out; I made the appointment and chose the waitlist option, which allows me to get an earlier appointment if someone cancels before then.

I handed it to the universe. Two days later, I received a message saying they had a cancellation and could see me a few days later.

The verdict? It’s most likely a muscle issue, and I need physical therapy.

To say I was overjoyed would be an understatement.

Snake

A few weeks ago, Mike discovered a snake in the backyard near the pool. We’ve been here since 2005 and have never seen a snake in this yard. He said that Biscuits tried to eat the snake and that they were both chasing the snake around the yard. This is when I wish we had a bird camera in the backyard.

Sounds like a pool issue…wouldn’t have had that with, oh, a soul garden…

So now I don’t like my yard as much, and you know how much I love my yard normally. I haven’t been in the hammock since the end of May. Mostly due to my back, partly due to the snake. A little because of FOS.

I leap from my patio into the pool and onto my swan. First world snake problems, I know.

Can snakes swim?

Side note- That’s me on the swan. Melanie asked if this was Ella. That made me very happy. Ella would be mortified.

When I go to water my plants, I look like this:

Flowers not flowering

I’m not sure if it’s the lack of rain, the seeds, or something else, but my flowers aren’t flowering like they did last year.

I think I am just impatient. I’m also seeing a lot of people with flowers in their yards because they went to nurseries like normal people.

My zinnias are just starting to bloom, and the soul garden isn’t quite as lovely as I had hoped. I think it gets too much shade.

I blame the pool.

And the snake.

FOS…

Goodbye

My migraine doctor is leaving the practice, according to a phone call from my headache clinic. There will be no goodbye. Just done. 

If you don’t know the backstory, I started going to a migraine clinic in Chicago three years ago. My migraines have improved since then, and my overall quality of life has improved dramatically.

But, it feels like the end of a relationship.

So I’ll be meeting with a new migraine doctor on July 28th. I still have a migraine clinic. But it’s not the same.

I originally wrote, “I am not complaining, so I hope this post does not come across that way to you or the universe.” But I am complaining. I just needed to vent a little, and this seems like a good place to do so.

Last week, I came across a quote in one of the books I’m currently reading that basically said, “trust my capacity to experience difficult states in a fearless way.”

I’m taking control of that quote and declaring that it’s okay to be afraid when confronted with a challenge. Bravery is overrated.

I can still cry. I can still be sad. I can still be FOS.

So can you.

So, that’s what is going on. Thank you for letting me get this out. See what I did there?

Give me some good news in the comments.

Or tell me your bad news and we can work through it together.

F.O.S.

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47 thoughts on “Summer Is Kicking My A…”

  1. I am behind on EVERYTHING . . . trying to get caught up on blogging today. I clicked to read your last post and this one popped up. I think I’m here first. Not my usual place, but here I am.

    The snake. No. Way. That would freak me out too. I think I’d have to convince myself that the snakes are more afraid of me and my bet is it was not poisonous, right? I just heard on WGN news yesterday that there are 100,000 people a year who die of snake bites – only 5 of those are in the US.

    By the way, I love your pool and your swan. So fun.

    I have a post prepared to share soon that may or may not include some references to my gut and, in your terms, ‘FOS.’ I hope you have a good PT who knows his/her stuff. I live with one and I find it most helpful.

    My good news . . . Curly’s team one the championship at McCormick place last weekend and while life has been very hectic at home, I managed to get to all of the games.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Summer can be challenging….Ella is in summer school, so I spend my mornings at the Starbucks across the street, responding to comments and doing computer work while she is there. Otherwise, I would accomplish nothing. So I understand.

      My mom assured me that the snake in our yard was completely harmless. OKAY. But have you ever seen a snake?
      See, Ernie, this is why I can’t watch the news…

      Mike got the swan as a surprise for me. 🖤

      I can’t wait to start PT. You’re very lucky. At this point, I’m looking forward to my colonoscopy in November. I’m sure I’ll live to regret saying that.

      Like

  2. I am nervous about snakes. It would ruin my backyard, too. Two of my neighbors have had rattlesnake encounters. One went into a neighbor’s garage. She said her husband trapped it, put it in some container in the back of his pickup and drove it five miles away. The other neighbor said they had snakes when they moved in a few months before us. They had them removed and some sort of mesh put along their fencing.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Complaint twinsies!!!

    I’m SO glad you are able to get to the root of your back problems. Back pain is just so unrelenting and it just makes your WHOLE body hurt. Ugh. Fingers crossed the PT does its business and you are feeling better soon.

    We are in a drought (although it’s raining a tiny bit right now! yay!) and only the hardiest of vegetation is doing anything. We’ve gotten a tiny handful of raspberries while last time at this year we had a few cups. I don’t really mind not having to mow (my husband has mowed twice all year – both times in May), but I would like a bit more color in the yard!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Twinsies, rejoice!

      I was nauseated on some days because it hurt so much. It wasn’t agonizing but I wasn’t feeling well. Thank you so much! I can’t wait for their healing hands. ❤️

      We got SO MUCH RAIN yesterday! I’m hoping you’ve got it up there as well?

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  5. I’m in the middle of all my yearly medical exams & tests this month, and I’m out of control freaking out about it. Waiting for lab results is excruciating for me! However, while I’m waiting for some results, your post greatly entertained me, and seeing you on your swan brightened my day!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. My daughter was up from midnight to two a.m. this morning. Which means I was also up with her. No reason, that I could see. I tried to relish the time lying with her in bed, reading to her from our current book. But I much prefer reading and cuddling when I am SUPPOSED TO be awake.

    I already complained about this on Engie’s blog, but it’s still bothering me: my eye is twitching and twitching and twitching. STOP IT.

    Very glad that you discovered the FOS source of your back pain. That sounds very uncomfortable and I hope that you are able to remediate it quickly.

    It’s always a little shocking to me when a doctor leaves a practice. I mean, they have their reasons! But it can feel a little startling when a yearslong relationship comes to an end, especially if you don’t know it’s coming! My former OB/gyn and my former primary care docs alerted me months and years in advance of their retirement. The OB/gyn let me know the end was coming, and then sent out a letter at the end of her tenure directing patients to her partner. My PCP gave me a warning years in advance and suggested some doctors I could go to instead of him. But then my eye doctor just skipped off into the sunset and the only reason I knew about it was that she was in the same hospital system as my husband, and he got some sort of alert via the all-staff email. That was it! No letter, no notification. I prefer closure!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I dislike being awakened in the middle of the night. It sets the tone for the rest of my day, so I completely understand how you feel.

      I am both looking forward to and dreading physical therapy. I had it before, and they hurt me in the best way possible. I’m aware that I have a lot of tension in my body. I’m also well aware of my terrible posture. I’m looking forward to them teaching me new ways to hold my body.

      The phone message said he’d send a letter, but no letter arrived so far. He was the first doctor in a sea of doctors who made me feel heard. This was also near the end of my perimenopause, which was already a horrible experience. Sigh. Onward.

      Like

  7. A bunch of us were talking about our stunted plants last week and many of us were wondering if it’s perhaps due to the smoke from the Canadian fires and certain plants not liking the air particles (since other plants seem to be thriving and larger than normal?!). We’ve also had a very cloudy/ rainy summer so I’ve just been chalking it up to “not my fault!” but I could be FOS since I know nothing about plants. LOL. Living on the lake we get all sorts of water snakes and regular snakes too so I tend to watch where I walk or swim and make lots of noise to scare them away.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was curious about the smoke from the fires! I am heartbroken for all of the trees, plants, and wildlife. Yesterday, Ella and I saw a firetruck traveling south on the highway from Newport News, Virginia. I wonder if they were up in Canada battling wildfires? It made me realize just how small my problems are.

      FOS…

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  9. Heat plus lower back pain (compressed discs), extreme knee pain (no cartridge; heat making the pain worse), don’t trust my ability to get out of a tub, no access to pool. And school project.

    But, hey, I got Toonces indoors tonight and whatever keeps biting me (most likely fleas AND mosquitos) usually doesn’t itch for more than a couple hours.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. WAIT WAIT WAIT YOU HAVE A POOL
    That is amazing and so is your swan. Wow, that is a run of shitty (see what I did there) stuff, but you are managing with grace! Grace-full, if you will!
    I am in the THICK of getting ready for the move – next week – and my mind is not even together enough to figure out a complaint or good news! We donated a lot of furniture to Habitat for Humanity, and now we have no table or chairs so we are eating at the coffee table! Ah, life. It’s a ride!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My husband and Ella installed the pool (from Wayfair…that place has everything). They already have plans to get a bigger one next summer. Please pray for me.

      Yesterday, I told my mom that despite my complaining, good things are happening. When I called my migraine doctor, I spoke with someone immediately (which is unusual), and they rescheduled my botox for the same day. I have a PT appointment next week that is just down the street from where Anna works, so I’m hoping to schedule it so that we can go out to lunch or dinner on those days. We got much-needed rain this week, and the zinnias are blooming! So, good things are happening.❤️

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  11. Tricky Vicky with The Sticks. Sounds like a great name for a Band. Or a porn.
    I’ve been somewhat FOS lately too and I blame the supplements I’m taking. I also have some lower back pain which always happens when we go to GA because of the chair I use there…doesn’t have lumbar support. See, when we get ‘wiser’ (ok older) our bodies are just more sensitive to little things like chairs and vitamins.

    I also thought that was Ella on the Swan! You little whippersnapper you.

    My good news is that my puppies are getting along beautifully. I hope I didn’t just jinx it, so don’t read that Universe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is a fantastic name for both of them. I can’t believe I overlooked that.

      My medication is also to blame for my FOS. I eat vegetables, drink plenty of water, and exercise regularly. Nothin’. Vitamins and chairs. How the mighty have fallen.

      I’m so happy that the puppies aren’t eating each other anymore!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. “So I didn’t finish the word. I have a feeling the universe doesn’t know how to spell?”

    LOL! Loved that, Kari!

    So happy to read after your appointment that they found it to be a muscle issue and not anything life-threatening.

    “When I go to water my plants, I look like this:” CRACKED ME UP!

    Having lived in Florida for 20 years, snakes (bugs, spiders, and lizards) are a huge part of Florida. The weather (being so humid) is a haven for creepy, crawly critters.

    I recently lost my dentist (who I adored). He moved to another State and opened his own practice. I sure will miss him because it took me so long to find a dentist that I liked and trusted.

    Good news is that summer is already half over, which makes me VERY happy because I cannot stand the heat and humidity we’re experiencing here. I would rather eat a bowl of broken glass that be hot. GOD, how I want it to SNOW!

    Have a FAB weekend, my friend! X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m happy too, Ron. I’m glad that my first physical therapy appointment is in less than a week!

      See, creepy, crawly things are the reason I couldn’t survive in warm climates. I remember that when it gets bitter cold, and I don’t complain about it. 🤣

      I’m so sorry to hear about your dentist moving. I completely understand.

      “I’d rather eat a bowl of broken glass.” Table for two, please! 🤣

      Have a wonderful week too, my friend! 😘

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  14. I get freaked out about snakes, too. Though my usual freak is about centipedes in the house. I had to kill one in my closet a few days ago and now my pulse goes up every time I open my closet door. It’s ridic, I know!

    My husband has suffered from aura migraines for the past 10 years. I don’t know that much about the different kinds of migraines, but he has found that eliminating all fake sugars (aspartame, sucrolose, etc.) and taking magnesium and B-2 (both recommended by his doctor) has cut the number of migraines he suffers by more than half. But, he honestly thinks that stress is the major cause for him.

    I hear you on summer kicking your ass. Mine started out great and has gone downhill fast over the past week. Let’s hope for an upturn soon! XO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I, too, am terrified of centipedes in the house! ALL THOSE LITTLE LEGS!!

      Magnesium is THE BEST. On migraine days, I increase my magnesium intake, which has greatly reduced the length of the migraine. I’m sorry your husband suffers from them, but I’m glad supplements have cut them in half!

      Here’s to upturns! 😘❤️

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    2. Centipedes are at the top of my fear list. I actually have goosebumps just talking about them! When I was a teenager, I went into my bedroom one night and turned on the light. Saw a centipede running across my wall. I screamed, my dad woke up, and I told him what happened. He looked all over my room and couldn’t find the centipede. I was so freaked out, I slept on the couch in the living room for several nights.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Back pain is the worst! I’ve been plagued by that off and on since I was in my teens. My mom thinks it all started when I was 3 years old, when I was on a teeter totter with my cousin. He jumped off his end and my end went crashing to the ground. Then I fell down slippery hardwood stairs twice as a teen, both times injuring my back. Add 3 herniated discs to the list and…yeah, I feel you! What has really helped me over the years besides PT: regular yoga classes. A lot of it has to do with your core. Which mine is very weak. Always working on it!

    I haven’t seen a snake in my yard in about 10 years and I hope I never see one again. I know they’re harmless here, but they still scare me when I see one.

    I scattered zinnia seeds TWICE in certain areas in my back yard and nada. What the heck? Then I planted a bunch of seeds in a terra cotta planter and only got two stalks. They’re pretty tall right now, but no blooms.

    Good news? I get to see you next week!

    Liked by 1 person

    2. I’ve been told to work on my core before, and I believe now is the time. I’ve been doing yoga at home lately and I love how I feel afterwards. Plus, as we discussed, it’s become a lovely part of my morning routine. ❤️

      I’m hoping it’s the last time we see one for a long time. EEK.

      The zinnias in the front planter only started blooming today!! However, they receive more sunlight than the ones on the patio. Those are very similar to the ones you’re describing. The zinnia seeds I planted in the ground were either mowed down by Mike, who probably thought they were weeds, or were eaten by our birds early on. Suz sent me an Instagram photo of someone ripping up their grass and planting zinnias. I’ll send it to you. I might do something similar in my backyard next summer.

      I can’t wait to see you again! That is wonderful news! 😘

      😘❤️

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  16. Our Rapid City backyard was full of snakes. I only ever saw garters, but there were others in the ‘hood who reported prairie rattlesnakes. THAT’LL keep you up nights, believe me!

    Liked by 1 person

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