Favorite Things, Humor, Life

how birthday week started

Kari

recently, there was a tiktok in my feed by a guy who said people who celebrate birthday weeks and birthday months are insufferable.

well, that’s just rude.

am i really liking stuff that suggests i don’t enjoy celebrating my own birthday? i immediately marked it as uninterested. no more negative tiktoks like that, thank you very much.

birthday month 2018: the year we accidentally (but kind of on purpose) broke into the breakfast club high school.

that comment got me thinking about how easy it is to judge how others celebrate, especially when it comes to something as personal as birthdays. but it also reminded me of how my own approach has changed over the years.

i don’t remember exactly when i started celebrating my birthday month, but i know it was during the throes of perimenopause. if you’ve been through that phase, you’ll understand why i decided to take any chance i could to celebrate—especially during my birthday month.

source

i do remember one birthday when i spent the evening at our elementary school book fair and had a bowl of cereal for dinner—because, honestly, no one had planned anything.

i was caught up in the idea that others should make me feel special on that day, but looking back, i saw that i needed to take charge of that myself.

so, i did.

enter birthday week.

courtesy pinterest

when we are kids, many of us have people who make those days feel special—like my mom and grandmother did for me—but not everyone has that. as we get older, those celebrations can slip away, and we’re left to figure out how to celebrate ourselves. that’s why it’s so important to take care of ourselves—especially as adults and parents—by showing what celebrating ourselves looks like.

being alive is a big deal. so why not make it feel like one?

birthday month 2022, i got a nose ring. it was a quiet, powerful decision—something that reflected who I was becoming.

it’s about saying yes to the things i usually brush aside—like popping into bookstores, spending more time in nature, actually reading the books i’ve been meaning to read, listening to my favorite music, seeing people who make me feel good all over, and wandering around the stores i never make time for during regular life.

my literal to-do list for this year includes: find crispy grapes, get boba, go to my favorite bookstore, track down a shop with stickers, have tres leches french toast with mom—and more… you get the idea.

none of it’s extravagant, but it feels good to me—and that’s reason enough to keep doing it.

what started as “birthday week” turned into “birthday month”—a few weeks of doing what i love and taking care of myself.

a favorite local bookstore

after doing this for a few years, i actually started looking forward to my birthday. the idea of birthday month gave me something to look forward to. it was like this little pocket of joy just waiting for me every april.

then it started rubbing off on other people. my daughters loved the idea, so we began stretching out their celebrations too—first into birthday week, and then into birthday month.

my husband teases me every april when mine rolls around, but he secretly loves it. and when his birthday month comes, you better believe i remind him of all that teasing. it’s all part of the fun.

when my dad died last april, i wasn’t sure if i’d still feel like celebrating birthday month. grief has a way of making everything feel heavier, even the things i used to love. and honestly, it felt weird to still love april.

but i do.

my mom always tells me it was a rainy, cloudy day when i was born, but as soon as i arrived, a rainbow appeared in the tiny delivery room window. when she brought me home, a pink flowering almond bush bloomed in the yard. she said it made her feel so alive.

maybe that’s why april still feels like magic to me—it holds both beginnings and endings. and that’s life, in all its layers. a life that deserves celebrating.

if that makes me sound insufferable, well… you’ll just have to suffer through it with me.

so here’s to whatever it is that makes you feel most you—whether it’s a whole month, a week, or one ordinary little tuesday.

keep finding joy in the small stuff. 🌈🌺

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75 thoughts on “how birthday week started”

  2. Happy birthday day, week, and month! Mine is six days away. I’ve never understood people who don’t like to make a big deal about their birthdays; like you said, just being alive is cause enough for celebration!

    What are crispy grapes?

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    1. Thank you, Mark! Is this your double nickel year too?

      Well, it’s a sensory thing for me. I don’t like soggy grapes, but now I’ve become picky about them to the point of concern. I only like crunchy, crispy green grapes. So far, I can only find the best ones at Costco and sometimes at Aldi.

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  4. Happy Birthday, Kari! Happy Birth DAY, WEEK, and MONTH! I think it’s awesome and wonderful, and yes to celebrating our lives and birthdays! My husband and I celebrate our “Birthday Seasons.” So, basically, a month for each of us! And you were definitely right to remove Tic Tok guy from your feed.

    I’m celebrating your birthday season, Kari!

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  5. There are quite a bit of curmudgeons on youtube who think its stupid for adults to celebrate birthdays…happiest of birthday months my friend i shared my bday month with my Mom growing and now my wife 😁

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  6. YES! I Love this idea. A couple of years ago I started planning little weekend getaways for my birthday celebration because like you I kept waiting around for someone else to make it special and I realized that I could step in and do that myself. I have been debating about going away this year and trying to brainstorm other ideas for making it feel special instead. I like the simple list you’ve got going for this year.

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    1. This is such a fantastic idea! Bijoux mentioned it too, and now I’m really excited of the option to do it. April is a great month to get away since the rates are still low.

      I hope you’re able to get away for your birthday this year!

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  7. YAY FOR APRIL BIRTHDAYS!!!

    I have also been celebrating my birthday week/ month! I mean, why not? People who get all uppity about that, well, those people are missing out on a lot of fun. Because why not enjoy your favourite things in the month you were born? Why not be extra loving to yourself! Go for it! Yay!

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    1. YAY FOR APRIL BIRTHDAYS!!!

      Why not, right?! I think we’ve talked about “yucking yums,” and I’ll never understand it. But I’m so grateful that I’m unable to understand it. Here’s to celebrating all month long! 😘💜🌈

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  9. Kari, my absolute FAVORITE thing about his post is that final photograph of you and your friends on the front lawn, which looks like you’re celebrating a birthday. And I love the two grown-ups standing in the doorway, looking out! FABULOUS vintage photo!

    To be honest, I usually experience my birthday very low-keyed. And I don’t really celebrate by doing anything special. I simply know that it’s my birthday and more than anything else, I’m reminded of just how blessed I am. I consider myself a very “wealthy” person. But not wealthy as in “money”, I mean wealthy as in “my life’s journey” and where it’s taken me, down all the different paths and what they taught/teach me.

    How fabulous that April is your birthday month! Spring, like Autumn, (my birthday month is October) are the two seasons that bring with them LOTS of gorgeous colors!

    Happy Birthday Week, my friend! So glad our paths have crossed!

    X

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    1. Yes! I love that picture too, Ron. I can’t remember which birthday it was, but the two women in the doorway are my grandmother and our dear neighbor, whose daughter is in the lineup.

      I completely agree with you about wealth—100 percent. I love that you brought this up. Oh, friend, you are so wealthy, and I love that you know it. I am, too, in all the ways that money can’t buy. I’m so glad you reminded me of this today—sometimes I forget, and I need a little reminder.

      I love that both of our birthday months fall in our favorite seasons. Thanks, Moms. 💜

      Thank you, friend. I’m forever grateful that our paths crossed as well. 😘🌈

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  10. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONTH, KARI! I could relate to everything you said. I started feeling this way around the time I turned 40. Like, WHY am I making my own birthday cake, for heaven’s sakes??? My husband doesn’t like to make a big deal about his birthday, but after all these years, he realizes that I DO. And yes, NOT INTERESTED in that dumb TikToker.

    My first choice for a birthday is a trip. It doesn’t always happen, but this year we are going on an overnight road trip, so I’m happy. A fancy boutique hotel and dinner are part of it. GO ME! My second choice will always be a fancy dinner and I got that last year with a total night on the town downtown at three of the best restaurants in the CLE. I’ve always loved having May as my birthday month. When I was a kid, it meant getting summer clothes and a bike one year for my birthday. Also, the end of the school year was an exciting part of it with all of summer ahead (even though I actually loved school).

    OK, which of those kids is you and who is looking out the door at you guys? Enjoy the rest of your month! XO

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    1. Thank you, friend!! EXACTLY!! 😄

      I love this idea for your birthday! It’s the kind of thing I picture for mine when Ella gets older—a little overnight trip sounds perfect. I’m also so happy that our birthday months are back to back! 🎉 Growing up, I always got summer clothes for my birthday, and I loved that. It meant summer was almost here! 🌞

      I’m the second child on the left side. The women in the photo are my grandmother on the left, and our neighbor Donna next to her. Her daughter, the one in yellow, is to the left of me. 💜

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  12. Happy birthday month! I sort of feel terrible for people with April birthdays because spring weather is unpredictable and mean. It would almost be better to be January because then at least you KNOW it’s going to suck. Oh, well. May you celebrate greatly and joyfully indoors.

    I celebrate my birthday fortnight. That way I get two weekends to play with.

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    1. You always make me laugh so hard! I do like the unpredictability, though. I’m not a fan of six days of rain in a row, but April showers bring May flowers… yadda yadda yadda… 🌸

      OOH, I love this idea. TWO WEEKENDS! I can almost hear my husband grumbling from here… 😅

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  14. Oh Kari, this post is giving me so many feelings! First, I am envious, because April is one of the best months. (ts eliot was so wrong about April!) It is absolutely, always when winter gives way to spring, and it is effing glorious! I have been reveling in the flowering and blooming and gold-greening of everything this year. I wish it were my birthday month. And then I felt sad, thinking about my own birthday month, which is December. When I was a kid, I used to love December and I was glad that my birthday happened during the “most wonderful time of the year.” Because my family was so good at making me feel special on my birthday, which was just a warm-up to Christmas. But it’s been a long time since I’ve been a kid. On my last birthday, I tried. I really tried to make my own joy. It was a milestone, and I planned my own weekend getaway. My husband didn’t put the tailgate up on our truck after loading our luggage, and mine–full of all my favorite things, because I wanted them for my special birthday weekend–fell out somewhere en route. (I tried not to let it ruin the weekend, but it was the first of several disappointments.) Christmas was really nice, but on the 30th a bomb exploded in our family and…it hurt even more because Christmas had been so nice and I’m pretty sure it won’t be the next time it comes around. December last year really, truly effing sucked. And I’m feeling hopeful. If you can reclaim April after losing your dad in that month, maybe I can figure out December. It’s hard because December is just hard. It’s so much not my own month to do what I will with. But I’m going to try. Wishing you so much happiness, this month and all the months, in spite of everything.

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    1. Oh, friend, winter birthdays are tough. Anna and Ella both have winter birthdays, so I totally get it. December birthdays as an adult are especially hard, and with kids, I can imagine your own birthday feeling like it took a backseat for a while.

      When you said you had all your favorite things in your bag and they fell out of the truck, I literally gasped. I felt that in my core. I would’ve been sobbing and pouting the whole trip. I still have SO MUCH soul work to do! 🤣

      The only thing I can recommend is adopting another month as your celebration month. I suggested this to my friend Ernie because her birthday is around Christmas, too. I’ve even suggested it to Ella—a half birthday celebration in the summer, since hers is in January. That would make hers July, and yours June! Plan everything you wanted to do in December, but do it in June.

      Thank you, friend. Last year was a really tough birthday month, but this year is much better. 💜🌈🌺

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      1. So much soul work! 😂I did not cry. I tried to be a good sport. I mostly succeeded, but not entirely! I was able to replace a lot of things, but not all. As I’ve become more of a minimalist, I treasure more the things I have. Things can matter too, you know? Love your suggestion, it’s one I’ve considered. I might actually like to just move it a month forward, so it’s the same season? There are some things I really like about January…

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  15. Happy Birthday. I’m also a fan of marking the occasion myself. I don’t do a birthday month, but I could definitely be persuaded.

    The firsts after the death of a parent are hard. I found my birthday last year a bit of challenge, but also oddly comforting. My mom loved birthdays.

    Finding joy in the small things is good advice.

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    1. I hope I was able to persuade you to celebrate all month long! If I lived near you, Michelle, I’d come woo you during your birthday month for sure. When is your birthday?

      The firsts are so hard. Oh, friend, I completely understand the oddly comforting part. Sending you so much love. Finding joy in the small things is what helps me get through each day, especially lately. Lord help us. 😶

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  16. Happy birthday month! My 5 days after Christmas birthday has never been a great birthday, timing wise. I don’t think I can steal Jesus’ thunder and overtake the month, ya know? ;)

    I love that photo. I have to send you a picture of my birthday party at that age. I swear there are a few dresses in your picture that a few of my friends are wearing. It’s cracking me up. Esp the red and white large check dress. Stay tuned.

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    1. Oh, I think you definitely can! 😊
      Or you can celebrate something called a “half birthday,” which is six months after your actual birthday—so that would make it in the summer! 🎉

      I loved those long dresses too! The 70s were like a fever dream, right?

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  18. I learned about celebrating my birthday for a week – or even a month – from you on your blog! I now do the same thing for myself. I usually buy myself a gift (nothing “big”…maybe a book I’ve been wanting, or some stickers or earrings), book a massage, get an iced coffee from a favorite coffee shop, things like that.

    Soo…happy birthday week and/or month to you! I caught Tim’s bad head cold (Brian has, too), but if I’m well enough by Friday, maybe we can get together to celebrate? I will keep in touch with you via text!

    xoxo

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    1. I love that you celebrate birthday week/month too! This makes me so happy! 😘💜

      I’m so sorry you got sick, but I’d love to see you during birthday week if you have time! Just message me your available days next week, and we’ll make it happen! 🎉

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  19. Happy birth-day/week/month! Mine took a bit of a turn as I cancelled a trip to visit friends in the USA as crossing the border right now feels like an unpleasant thing. But I’ve regrouped and am still celebrating and grateful for it! Maybe a year-long party… 😂

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    1. Thank you, friend!

      Right? What a mess. Definitely didn’t see any of this coming … sigh. I’m so sorry your trip got cancelled. But I’m absolutely on board for a year-long party to make up for it. Wait—are we birthday month twins?!

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  20. Happy Birthday Month! I love this idea and I think it’s fabulous to celebrate life, our birth, that we’re still here! Awesome. Keep up the good celebrations and inspiring others to do the same. Mine starts May 1st. Hugs, c

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  21. Who in the world has suggestions, and denials of how one celebrates. Mind Yo damn self, I say to the haters! Like you said, being alive is a big darn deal and we should celebrate as much as we like.

    Cheers to a lovely birthday month for you.

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE that last photo; I mean, what a perfect capture in time, right down to the Mom’s looking from inside the house.

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  24. Kari, I love this post! Happy Birthday! What is your actual date of birth?..lol First, I was freaking when you went into the BClub school..no way! Next time I’m in Chicago I want to go!…or at least drive by! B-Day month is perfect. Why the hell not celebrate all month? You’re right about keeping it simple. A book store, an iced tea, and an hour sounds perfect! With reading your post, I think for my birthday month I will do one fun thing every week. Channeling Ferris..things move too fast. Like all holidays you blink and it’s over. Thanks for the inspiration..now keep celebrating!!

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    1. Thank you, friend! It’s April 28th!

      Next time you’re in Chicago (if you have time), we should totally do the tour of all the John Hughes locations. My husband and I did it for our friends a few years ago, and it was so much fun.

      Last weekend, a man read about it on my blog—he was in town to see the cast of The Breakfast Club and had questions about the tour I wrote about. He and his wife ended up doing the whole thing, had the best time, and even sent me pictures. It made me so happy! It really is such a fun little adventure.

      YES! One fun thing every week is how I began. Channeling Ferris. I love that. 💜

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      1. No way..that’s my youngest son’s birthday! OK, we are more connected then we think! I love it! I called my oldest son when I heard the Breakfast Club cast was in Chicago. That would have been so freaking cool to go to. We only get to Chicago once a year and it’s usually in the spring. With us building and selling our current home, we’re not planning a trip this year. They will be coming to us to help us pack..lol. Oh, I can’t wait to hear your plans for your birthday!!

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      2. OMG, that is SO cool!! We are definitely connected—I love it too! I’ll be thinking of him on Monday. 💜

        I really wanted to go to that event, but it fell on my dad’s death anniversary, and I just wasn’t feeling up to it. It sounded like so much fun.

        I’m so excited for your new home! What an exciting year ahead for you and your family!

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  25. Kari, I love that you celebrate your birthday this way. I guess what that TikToker was complaining about is those in the high maintenance club who want, maybe even expect, LOTS of money to be spent on them. Whereas I like the idea that you seek out small ways to celebrate and things to do that give you joy.

    I used to stretch my birthday celebrating over an extended period because I had to share family celebrations with my mother who ensured she got to do what she wanted/enjoyed while brushing aside anything I might ask for. Now that I don’t have to share anymore, I find I’m really easily pleased :)

    Happy birthday day, week & month to you my lovely <3

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    1. You’re probably right! Thank you for changing my perspective on the person who made that TikTok. 💜

      Aww, I’m sorry you had to share that with your mom. I can understand how that might’ve felt, and I imagine how much freedom you must feel now. I’m easily pleased as well, as you can probably tell. 🤣

      Thank you so much, my friend! 😘💜

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  26. Thanks Kari. TBH, it was a long time before I realised what was going on, and a lot longer again before I understood what was behind it. But I am making sure I get to enjoy celebrating it my way now, much as you do with yours <3

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