i began writing this series in may 2022, not intending to make it a tradition. but it stayed—and so did you. thank you for showing up each month.
i’ve done things like this for most of my marriage- folded his clothes, folded his underwear. but in the middle of my grief, i stopped.
we make a good team when it comes to household duties. it wasn’t ever spoken, we just kind of evolved into roles, and mike was never the kind of partner i had to ask to do things.
over the years, we’ve both slowed down—maybe from grief over losing my dad, definitely from his leg injury, and now i realize it might’ve been related to his heart. it makes me sad that i’m only noticing this now.
i never minded these little acts of care. i’ve been a stay-at-home mom and wife for most of my adult life. in the last year or two, though, i started noticing the imbalance more, and sometimes it made me feel frustrated.
i’m not sharing this for any other reason than to acknowledge that invisible labor is real—and to say: i see you, all of you who do this work every day.
the last part of anna graduating from flight attendant school was her final, called an ioe—initial operating experience—where she put all her training to work on two passenger flights under the watchful eye of her instructors.
it was a four-hour trip from houston to los angeles one way, back-to-back because the first flight was delayed. overwhelming doesn’t even begin to cover it.
she almost didn’t pass because of a door check, something she’d aced every time in training. we didn’t know she was so close to failing until after she landed, but we tracked her flight the whole time. when she touched down, we noticed something—houston airport sits near a bayou: garner’s bayou.
garner was my dad’s name. saying it out loud—garner’s bayou—I cried.
we’re in week three of healing, and mike is doing really well. he’s still tired a lot, which is one of the biggest side effects of open-heart surgery, but otherwise, he’s good. we have two follow-up visits this week—one with his cardiology team and one with his surgical team—so it should be an informative week, and we hope all goes well.
and anna’s first real flights as a flight attendant are today! we’re so proud and excited for her. ✈️💙
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A Grace Full Life 
That Duncan Trussell quote…wow. It took a second for those words to sink in. Really makes you think.
I think one of the secrets to a successful marriage is an equitable division of household duties. Glad you and Mike found a balance; Tara and I are the same.
Sending continued positive vibes on a speed recovery for Mike!
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Best wishes for the appointment and the flight! Love those flowers.
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Oooh, that Rumi quote really speaks to me. Beautiful!
You’re doing great. Keep hanging in there and take good care of yourself. 💕
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Thank you for acknowledging all of our invisible work. Yesterday, I realized my husband had no idea how to set the timer on our oven. We’ve had it for 12 years (he uses the oven but never sets a timer). Also, I learned he has no idea how to open a pump dispenser (where you twist the pump). Hard to believe I married a magna cum laude graduate, isn’t it? LOL!!!
The recliner looks comfy and I’m glad it’s a part of Mike’s healing journey. I got the chills when I read about the Garner’s Bayou connection. WOW! Don’t you love Flight Tracker?? Getting her wings! Love it!!!
Also love: the tulips, the old door (you just know that’s an amazing quirky old house), and the Duncan quote. So much truth in that. I refuse to carry the world’s anger. It only hurts yourself.
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Congrats to Anna! I hope her first official flights go well. Glad to hear Mike is slowly recovering from his surgery. That is so incredibly sweet that he thought to dash your favorite flowers!
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Happy travels to Anna, and congratulations on getting the wings.
When my dad had his first heart surgery, it was only after that we realized how many things it had changed. He was suddenly not grey, and his skin wasn’t cold to the touch, and his mental acuity improved. Mom and I felt quite guilty about not seeing it, but it’s hard to notice the changes that happen slowly, daily. It’s amazing how quickly heart patients show improvement following surgery. Much healing energy to Mike.
Door dashing flowers for you is so lovely. I do enjoy tulips.
Clairvoyant rodents is hilarious. There’s much about humans that should worry, confuse – and possibly terrify -any aliens hapless enough to land here.
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