Family, Home, Life, Universe, What I Kept

what i kept – february 2026

Kari

i began writing this series in may 2022, not intending to make it a tradition. but it stayed—and so did you. thank you for showing up each month.

i ordered a card for anna off etsy, and it came all the way from the uk. 💙
we borrowed my dad’s old recliner for mike while he heals. grief has a way of hiding in furniture.
a week before his surgery, i went through mike’s closet—pairing socks, organizing clothes—just trying to make things easier for both of us.

i’ve done things like this for most of my marriage- folded his clothes, folded his underwear. but in the middle of my grief, i stopped.

we make a good team when it comes to household duties. it wasn’t ever spoken, we just kind of evolved into roles, and mike was never the kind of partner i had to ask to do things.

over the years, we’ve both slowed down—maybe from grief over losing my dad, definitely from his leg injury, and now i realize it might’ve been related to his heart. it makes me sad that i’m only noticing this now.

i never minded these little acts of care. i’ve been a stay-at-home mom and wife for most of my adult life. in the last year or two, though, i started noticing the imbalance more, and sometimes it made me feel frustrated.

i’m not sharing this for any other reason than to acknowledge that invisible labor is real—and to say: i see you, all of you who do this work every day.

first cardinal of 2026- the day before mike’s surgery
in love with this door
i’m not usually one to share online when my husband gives me flowers, but three days after his open-heart surgery (valentines day), i arrived at his hospital room to find a bouquet of my favorite flowers waiting in a little bucket. he doordashed them. 💜
waiting for daddy’s arrival from the hospital
healing – he has his heart pillow on his chest
see the plane right under garner’s bayou? that’s anna’s flight.

the last part of anna graduating from flight attendant school was her final, called an ioe—initial operating experience—where she put all her training to work on two passenger flights under the watchful eye of her instructors.

it was a four-hour trip from houston to los angeles one way, back-to-back because the first flight was delayed. overwhelming doesn’t even begin to cover it.

she almost didn’t pass because of a door check, something she’d aced every time in training. we didn’t know she was so close to failing until after she landed, but we tracked her flight the whole time. when she touched down, we noticed something—houston airport sits near a bayou: garner’s bayou.

garner was my dad’s name. saying it out loud—garner’s bayou—I cried.

speaking of my dad and coincidences – the lung climb falls on the second anniversary of his death
breakfast by ella 💜
the space that heals the caretaker💜☀️
✈️💙
source

we’re in week three of healing, and mike is doing really well. he’s still tired a lot, which is one of the biggest side effects of open-heart surgery, but otherwise, he’s good. we have two follow-up visits this week—one with his cardiology team and one with his surgical team—so it should be an informative week, and we hope all goes well.

and anna’s first real flights as a flight attendant are today! we’re so proud and excited for her. ✈️💙

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35 thoughts on “what i kept – february 2026”

  1. That Duncan Trussell quote…wow. It took a second for those words to sink in. Really makes you think.

    I think one of the secrets to a successful marriage is an equitable division of household duties. Glad you and Mike found a balance; Tara and I are the same.

    Sending continued positive vibes on a speed recovery for Mike!

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    1. Right? It really is the damn phones.

      I agree, friend.

      Thank you so much. We’re taking it one day at a time. He doesn’t always do well with patience, and neither do I at times, so it’s definitely been a learning process.

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  4. Thank you for acknowledging all of our invisible work. Yesterday, I realized my husband had no idea how to set the timer on our oven. We’ve had it for 12 years (he uses the oven but never sets a timer). Also, I learned he has no idea how to open a pump dispenser (where you twist the pump). Hard to believe I married a magna cum laude graduate, isn’t it? LOL!!!

    The recliner looks comfy and I’m glad it’s a part of Mike’s healing journey. I got the chills when I read about the Garner’s Bayou connection. WOW! Don’t you love Flight Tracker?? Getting her wings! Love it!!!

    Also love: the tulips, the old door (you just know that’s an amazing quirky old house), and the Duncan quote. So much truth in that. I refuse to carry the world’s anger. It only hurts yourself.

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    1. OMG, I’m laughing so hard—why is it that once they cross the threshold of their homes, they have no idea how to do menial labor?? 🤣

      I’m so glad his recliner is helping him too. We’re using Flighty now! Anna said flight attendants and pilots use it, and it’s really good. I always think of you when I track her flights—you got me hooked on Plane Finder years ago. 💙✈️

      Lots of fun little finds this month. I love that we enjoy so many of the same things. 🌷💜

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  5. Congrats to Anna! I hope her first official flights go well. Glad to hear Mike is slowly recovering from his surgery. That is so incredibly sweet that he thought to dash your favorite flowers!

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  6. Happy travels to Anna, and congratulations on getting the wings.

    When my dad had his first heart surgery, it was only after that we realized how many things it had changed. He was suddenly not grey, and his skin wasn’t cold to the touch, and his mental acuity improved. Mom and I felt quite guilty about not seeing it, but it’s hard to notice the changes that happen slowly, daily. It’s amazing how quickly heart patients show improvement following surgery. Much healing energy to Mike.

    Door dashing flowers for you is so lovely. I do enjoy tulips.

    Clairvoyant rodents is hilarious. There’s much about humans that should worry, confuse – and possibly terrify -any aliens hapless enough to land here.

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    1. Thank you, friend!

      Mike’s memory had gotten really bad over the last year or so. We thought it might be grief—or even long COVID—but it turned out to be his heart, and we had no idea. His memory is already improving. Thank you for that healing energy; we’ll take all we can get.

      I love tulips too.

      Right? We’re a very odd lot, aren’t we?

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  7. “So many people have inspired me to be nothing like them.” – LAUGHED OUT LOUD, and also, so true. Also the quote about the waterfall! Those are great.

    Also great? ANNA! Yay Anna! I’m so happy for her.

    Those tulips are just beautiful, Kari! And purple! How wonderful. I want you to know I bought a bunch of zinnia seeds last week (can’t plant YET obviously, but needed them on hand for planting emergencies!) and I thought of you. And then I walked past the tree that has all the birdhouses in it, and there are MORE birdhouses on an adjacent tree. I thought of you again! It’s really cool, there are such good people in the world, putting birdhouses out on random public trees.

    I’m glad Mike is healing. What stress for everyone. Also, I love this: “i never minded these little acts of care. i’ve been a stay-at-home mom and wife for most of my adult life. in the last year or two, though, i started noticing the imbalance more, and sometimes it made me feel frustrated.

    i’m not sharing this for any other reason than to acknowledge that invisible labor is real—and to say: i see you, all of you who do this work every day.”

    Invisible labour is real!

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    1. Isn’t that a great statement? I loved both of those as well.

      I’m so happy too! She had four flights yesterday—never left the airports, but gained experience and plenty of stories. 💙✈️

      Zinnias! That makes me feel so hopeful. Maybe I’ll go buy some soon—I am so ready for spring. I keep telling Mike, “It’s meteorological spring! It is!” I also love when people put birdhouses on random trees. We had to take two of ours down because… SQUIRRELS. Those little bastards. 🤣

      Invisible labor is the quiet work that makes everything else possible. When I think about all the things my husband and children have done—and will do—I know so much of it rests on unseen support. It doesn’t always get named, but it matters. 💜

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  9. Invisible labor…mmm yes, that’s me, every day. I don’t think B has a clue. He’s actually neater than me with organization of his clothes BUT he never throws anything away/donates. I have to go through his clothes and find what needs to go. He’d wear holy underwear and socks all the time if it weren’t for me, ha ha.

    That is beyond amazing that Mike ordered those flowers and had them delivered to his room just 3 days after his surgery. He gets extra brownie points for that! (I didn’t even know you could doordash flowers, lol.)

    I love that your dad’s recliner is part of Mike’s recovery. And I also love that Biscuits is curled up on his lap as he rests. I remember after my knee surgery, my three kitties never left my side as I was recuperating. Animals know.

    Garner’s Bayou…wow. <3

    I hope all goes well with Mike’s follow-up visits this week!

    xoxo

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    1. Your home really is incredibly cozy and healing. I always think about the way you tend to it and how much care that takes. Invisible labor is real, and I hope they truly know what a gift you are.

      And I know — I didn’t even realize that was possible! His dad was with me when he gave them to me, and it made me so happy that he witnessed that act of love.

      I’ve felt my dad so much during this healing season. Between his energy, the dogs, and me and Ella, I think Mike is getting very good care.

      I hope so too. 😘💜

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  11. The photo of bill bottles is overwhelming me from a safe distance even. Yikes. I’m glad to hear he is doing well. I appreciate your description of roles and how they happen. Very relatable. Some great quotes in here. I like the one about caretaking. I’m also now in love with that same front door. So cute. The photo of the skyline – wow. It’s breathtaking. Continued healing to Mike. I hope the doctor’s appointment goes well and that you take good notes and that you think of all the questions you wanna ask before the appointment (not after – ask me how I know this is a thing). xo

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    1. Oh gosh, I know. When we got home from LF Hospital in January, he had ten new medications. This time they took some away and added a few more, so I showed up with a notebook and calendar ready to manage it all. It’s less stressful now, though, and he’s already down three medications, which feels like real progress.

      We have lots of notes. I know you understand. 💜

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  12. I love your caregiver space – very calm and inviting. Glad everything is moving along well between Mike and Anna. Maybe you’re picking up more duties, but you got door dash flowers, and those duties are always things you can negotiate once the other half is back on his feet. Take care. ❤️

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    1. Thank you. I’ve been trying to make this space feel calm for both of us, so that means a lot.

      Yes, there are a few extra duties right now, but we both know it’s a season. The flowers definitely helped.

      We’re taking it one step at a time. I appreciate you thinking of us. 😘💜

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  13. The at-home partner’s load is a heavy one. I never realized it until the reality of job security made more sense for me to be at home with my baby boys for three years. I would be on the go from 7 am to 10 pm, then took time for myself, often until 1 or 2 am just to have a life of my own that wasn’t on my knees washing the floor or cleaning up the effing kitchen for the third time that day.

    I liked the story your photos told. So glad Anna passed her finals. I worked in rail transportation for a while and the requirements are stringent, and thank goodness they are. It must have felt so wonderful holding her wings. Glad Mike is progressing and I hope his healing continues to be good. 🙏🏼

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    1. It’s a kind of work that never clocks out, and the only quiet you get is the quiet you steal.

      Thank you for seeing the photos the way you did. And yes, holding her wings felt surreal. All that effort, all those early mornings and long days, crystallized in one small object. I’m grateful the standards are high in her field too.

      And thank you for the good wishes for Mike. We’re taking it one day at a time.💜

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  15. Invisible work..I like that phrase. I do 99.9% of everything. I need to move my body so I don’t mind, but it is super annoying when I ask for help and I get some resistant. I got chills when you wrote your dad’s name is Garner. If THAT’S not a sign! Go Anna! So excited that she found her thing! YOU take care, my friend. You need to stay healthy too.

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    1. It really is annoying. I feel it too. Just know that when you’re getting frustrated, there’s a good chance I am 400+ miles away feeling the exact same thing. 🤣

      I got chills too. That felt like a billboard sign.

      I’m so excited for her. She had a long day yesterday, but she has the next two off to rest. She’s already loving her new job.

      I’m taking care of myself the best I can. Feeling spring on the way is helping more than I expected.

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  16. I am constantly amazed at the wisdom conveyed by Rumi.

    I read a quote a while back that has stayed with me regarding the division of labour in marriages: “Men are forever guests in their own homes.” Thankfully, my sons are NOT this way, but my husband still is. He will cheerfully do any task THAT I ASK HIM TO DO. Why must I be the Project Manager? Mental Load is all too real.

    So happy that both Mike and Anna are progressing so well! And those nods from the Universe–believe them.

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    1. So am I, Nance.

      You raised those men so well, my friend. Mental load is so real- sending love your way.

      I believe them with all of my being. 💜🌈

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  18. The Garner’s Bayou connection brought tears to my eyes! Thanks for that, Garner, Anna, and Kari!

    I love that Mike is using your Dad’s chair to recoup; there’s a lot of love there.

    SO thrilled for Anna. She’s got Wings! 😘

    We’re a happier bunch when we aren’t staring at our phones, taking in all sorts of propaganda that makes us angry with our fellow man.

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