I started writing this post at the end of February when our lives were completely different. I thought about changing the searches to reflect our lives since the lockdown but decided that it may be better suited for another post entirely. I like the idea of reading this and knowing what I was innocently searching for the weeks leading up to our world shifting.
I was having coffee with a good friend at the beginning of February and we were talking about how my blog doesn’t have a niche. I used to worry that my blog didn’t have a niche for a several year period back when I was trying to monetize my blog.
Niches are a big deal in the blog world, I guess. If you want to make money, you gotta have a niche. But now that I am halfway done with menopause, I am almost 50, and I have been writing a blog for almost 10 years, I don’t give a fuck if my blog has a niche.
The reason I bring this up is that I adore randomness. In life, in writing, in food, anywhere. I love random ideas, quotes, etcetera. It is me embracing this randomness that has led to so many posts this year that I loved writing. I have been so filled inside with writing about well, nothing. Niche-less writing is the best writing for me.
Speaking of, I’ve written about google searches two other times in my blogging career. Once in 2014 and once in 2018, which is sad. Four solid years between Google search posts is just unacceptable because I think the core of who we are is in what we search for on Google. I also think that there is a lot of depth in the notes that you keep on your phone as well (post forthcoming).
Here is what I have been Googling as of late.
Why is my parakeet trying to bite me
We got a parakeet back in December, aptly named Joy and I play her videos of parakeets chirping twice a day so she doesn’t get lonely. To be clear, she has no chance to get lonely between all of the times we take her out of the cage (it’s encouraged) and the dog barking, and the typical chaos.
The biting thing started when we moved the perches up higher in her cage so she could feel safe. One time I went in to get her out and she lovingly bit me. I googled the above and it turns out she was being territorial which I totally get.
I swear to God she loves us.
Jelly fruit candy
Tik Tok renegade dance
You don’t think those tater tot titles write themselves, do you?
Is eyeroll one or two words
It’s two words.
What is the definition of visceral
In reaction to Gwyneth Paltrow is all I should need to write.
Also….” relating to deep inward feelings rather than to the intellect.”
Is Jameson‘s Irish?
I had seen a picture of the baby from the cover of the Nirvana album Nevermind on Pinterest and something didn’t sit right with me because he looked like he was my age. I clicked on it and it was indeed clickbait, so then I googled the above and guess what? That baby is now 25.
This led me down the google rabbit hole of Kurt Cobain, his death, where he grew up, how old he was when he died, when he married Courtney Love, how old his daughter Frances Bean Cobain is now.
She is 27. The same age her dad was when he died.
June Diane Raphael
As I mentioned in the March tater tot post, I love the show Grace and Frankie. When I watch a show or series or movie or documentary, you can guarantee that I will be googling the shit out of people who star within those shows.
One of my favorite characters on that show besides Frankie is Brianna, played by June Diane Raphael.
Then I found out she was married to Paul Scheer, who I have loved in other things but most notably (in my world) from the I Love the 80s, 90s, and 2000s shows VH-1 used to air.
I never would have put those two together and that makes me kind of happy because RANDOM.
Starbucks weight watchers points
Because I am on an endless pursuit to make myself miserable.
*two months later note- remember Starbucks? Good times.
YA books about ghosts
Nothing more interesting than Ellie loving ghosts and trying to find books about them.
Should I worry about jogging
Dr. Oz on running
My anxiety woke me up one night to tell me that I should be worried about running again.
Long story short, I used to be afraid to exercise because of heart attacks. My health anxiety is really bad and last winter it took over me in such a way, I couldn’t even walk on the treadmill. This winter I decided to say fuck that and started training for a 5k.
But anxiety is a nasty bitch and can creep up at any time. Like at four in the morning. Hence the above searches.
Dr. Oz says it’s okay.
*two months later note- I am no longer training for the 5k because of the pandemic and not wanting to end up in the acute care center for a sprain etc.. I am however still walking on the treadmill daily in hopes of running again after this is over.
Map of China
Is it safe to buy stuff from China coronavirus
I wanted to be informed about where Wuhan China was and how large that city is (HUGE) because I am big on statistics and ratios. I don’t think Americans realize just how large and populated China is nor do they realize how much of the stuff we use daily comes from China (think 75% of Amazon’s inventory).
Also yes, it is totally safe.
*two months later note- this was when I was trying to convince myself that coronavirus was less deadly than the regular flu. Ignorant bliss is what I now like to call the month of February.
Hot Chicago white Sox player Michael
Just because he’s hot.
What? Not all of my searches are educational. Geez.
What is in a traditional burrito
Long story long, I was watching the Taylor Swift documentary on Netflix one day and while she had some very interesting and agreeable points about many different things, the takeaway for me was that she adds tortilla chips to the inside of her burritos for crunch.
So the next cheat day I had, we got local authentic Mexican food from our beloved regular place but before I did that, I wanted to see what exactly is in a traditional burrito.
Of course, I still ordered my usual bastardized version- no beans or rice, extra steak, cilantro, sour cream, cheese, tomatoes, onion, and lettuce. Then I added a couple of their homemade tortilla chips to this inside of my burrito ala Taylor, and I think, I THINK, I had my first food orgasm.
*two months later note- we just got takeout from this place on Sunday for the first time since February and I did this again and it is still amazing. I never thought I would be thanking Taylor Swift for anything but here we are.
Hgtv dream home
I wanted to know when the winners would be announced. For three months, I would submit an entry twice daily in hopes of winning a home in Hilton Head, South Carolina.
*two months later note- we didn’t win. I am never entering another contest again.
How to clean a coffee pot
You’re starting to realize how boring I am, aren’t you?
*two months later note- that was probably the last time I cleaned the coffee pot.
Ella was trying to text a friend some fun facts while we were in the car heading to a homeschool event. Nothing more exciting.
*two months later note- that is SO exciting now.
How do you get paint off of laminate flooring
Nail polish remover. Don’t ask me how I got the paint on there, to begin with.
Why do they ring the bell at Trader Joe’s
To ask for someone to help them at another register. It was much better sounding than an announcement over the intercom for YEAH WE NEED HELP ON AISLE FOUR, JIM. JIM? JIMMMM?
What is a manifestation candle
According to Sage and Salt (dot com, of course):
“When you’re ready to upgrade your ritual, a manifestation candle takes your purposeful intentions and blasts them across every plane. For the spiritually-minded witches, the flame of a candle represents a light in the darkness that illuminates a path through the universe for your manifestations.”
*two months later note- the real question is why was I googling “manifestation candle” to begin with. Did I maybe manifest the coronavirus here??
The sausage King of Chicago
Three bucks and my left nut
I was renovating my John Hughes Museum post from years ago because it made absolutely no sense to the reader. Or to me. One could argue the whole idea of a museum, to begin with, makes no sense and you would be wrong. But those searches are quotes from two of his movies that serve as paragraph dividers within the post. Stay tuned for the updated version.
*two months later note- I have had two months to work on that post and I haven’t touched it once.
How many calories does painting burn
Over 1200 in four hours.
Signs a hamster is dying
Sadly, this was one of many hamster searches I was doing in late January and early February. You can read about our Nibbles here if you haven’t before.
I kept seeing Enneagram everywhere on the interwebs this winter and wanted to see what that fuss was.
*two months later note- Nope, THIS is what summoned the virus.
He was mentioned in a show and I wanted to see if he was still alive. I call these searches death checks.
*two months later note- I never thought I would say I miss Dan Quayle but here we are.
The Shanna show theme song
This was a little filler in between shows on Disney channel when Anna was little. I was getting all sentimental leading up to her 20th birthday.
How does Lululemon fit (should really ask how do you afford Lululemon)
Anna had asked for Lululemon leggings for Christmas but they were just way too expensive and I wanted to get her the other things she asked for. So I looked online for her birthday instead and yeah, still too fucking expensive.
Another death check but you will be happy to know that he is still alive at 80 years young.
*two months later note- The Six Million Dollar Man is 80. Let that sink in.
Someone made it on a talk show and made it look so damn good that I wanted to find the recipe. I ended up making it and it was okay. I have an issue with fishes in tacos or fishes in quesadillas but wanted to try and expand my palate.
I also have trouble with meats upon meats. IE-pork and beef in the same meal. IE- bacon cheeseburgers and the like.
That was fun. I’m so glad I don’t have a niche.