I recently took an impromptu photoshoot in my kitchen on a random Friday afternoon. I didn’t plan it, I just happened to look in the mirror and noticed that amid a pandemic, days before my 50th birthday, no makeup on, that I looked decent and I also knew that someday I will want to remember what I looked like around the time I turned 50.

I turn 50 tomorrow and I feel like I’m doing pretty damn good. I feel the best I have felt in a long time, my anxiety is at a respectable level, and I am at a weight I am proud of, even within a pandemic of mass proportions.
Things I learned to do at almost 50
open a bottle of wine
use the grill
paint an entire room by myself (including the ceiling)
use an instant pot (never again)
Things I am getting too old for
watching sports on television
uncomfortable shoes
pretending I like something when I don’t
fad diets
Things I love right now
memes
bringing together my friends and family from all different backgrounds
spotify
this song:

The party that wasn’t
I made a note in my phone last year of how I wanted my 50th birthday party to look. I didn’t want a surprise party because I don’t love surprises, so I told my husband that the best gift he could get me was letting me create a small party in honor of this special birthday.
Originally, I had planned to have the party over summer so that Anna could be here, but even with our lockdown being slowly opened, there will be no party this summer as we still need to protect our loved ones and especially those who are most vulnerable.
And in Illinois, where we have been hit pretty hard, we won’t be opening up for a while anyway.

I know that next year we will possibly have an intimate celebration depending on how all of this plays out, but I am mourning this celebration a tiny bit. I realize this is a first-world problem and I am indeed grateful for the health of my loved ones, but I am sad that my birthday is happening while we are shut away from each other.
Then I had an idea- I would share my birthday party iPhone notes with all of you. Invite you to my virtual 50th birthday party, if you will.
And that made me so happy, almost happier than the actual party itself. Because if you lived close enough you all would have been invited as so many of you are a huge part of my life.

First, no one is allowed to bring “gifts,” but instead bring food to share, a favorite recipe of yours that I have loved over the years, that I will request ahead of time, or something from a restaurant we both have in common. I mean, this is the Midwest, and potlucks are still a thing here.
I would also ask that you bring a bouquet of your favorite flowers with you as well because we are going to be creating pretty flower arrangements from all the different bouquets, combining them all together on one big table and making vases of flowers for each of you to take home with you, to remember meshing all of my favorite people in one place.
The party is in our backyard, do you see of the little pretty white lights strung around the trees? Have a seat on one of the chairs from inside of our home, need a blanket?

What’s that sound? Oh, just a personally curated Spotify playlist of music I have loved over the past 50 years playing in the background while my friends and family merge. Telling stories, laughing loudly, cozying up under your blankets, the lights casting a warm glow on the faces of my favorite people, the leaves rustling, the smell of a bonfire roaring, and marshmallows roasting.
Are you hungry for dessert? Help yourself to the donut table and the table of Big Macs.
Maybe this drink too:

Can you hear the voices? Can you feel the love? I know I can.
Take these ideas if you’d like, incorporate them into your life in some way this year and please share it with me if you do.
It will be like you are celebrating with me all year long and I can’t think of any better way to celebrate.
Here’s to 50, my friends.
I love your birthday plan! This sounds like an amazing party with all your favorite people and I TOO love a good pot luck and it should still be a thing. Please tell me you are going to do it at some point; don’t give up on a dream birthday. The flowers? What a sweet idea too. That’s one thing that is so wonderful about you, you want your friends/family to have as much fun as you do…even on your special day.
I love your 50th birthday photo session too.
Also, I love Better Things. But, I’d like to strangle the daughters every time they say “MOM! MOM! MOM!”
Happy early birthday my sweet friend.
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I’m not giving up the dream! I will plan on it in the next year or two and might make it a surprise party…for my guests. ❤️
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Happy, happy birthday! You look awesome. I have been wondering if I will ever go back to mascara.
Glad you are happy with your weight and your anxiety levels are not tormenting you. I love your lists and could not agree more on the ‘too old for wearing of uncomfortable shoes’. Amen.
Love your party ideas and I am sorry that you aren’t able to celebrate the way you had hoped to. I am sure it would be a great time as fun people must gravitate towards you, my friend. Hope your day tomorrow is as special as you are and memorable despite the quarantine. Fifty is nifty, or so I hear. You will have to let me know. I am fast on your heels.
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I don’t think I’ll ever go back to mascara either. Might have to add that to my “too old for” list. ❤️
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This got me a bit weepy. Like, happy weeps though, not the sad kind. Your birthday party sounds wonderful. I’d bring a dessert. We haven’t spent time together in person, so I’m not sure which of my desserts you’d like the best, but since this is a big important birthday, I’d treat it like Christmas with no less than five cookie varieties. Also I’d bring magnolias and maybe one or two roses. Though I’d hide the roses from the rest of the group and sneak them into your bouquet at the very end. Happy almost birthday, Friend.
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Oh friend, I’m so glad we met. I can taste those cookies. ❤️
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Wow! You really know how to plan a party; that sounds fantastic. I can absolutely picture it and how fabulous it would be. Sorry you can only have a virtual one for right now though. 😦
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Maybe I should become a virtual party planner!
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Happy Birthday, sweet friend. You are kick-ass, I hope you know this. I love everything about this post and you.
You look incredible and your kick-assness oozes out of your pores.
ENJOY THE FUCK OUT OF TOMORROW. ❤️
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I love that you used the word kick-assness in a comment.
I will enjoy the fuck out of it. 😘😘
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Happy birthday to you! I’m thankful to know you. Here’s to the next 50. And yummy doughnuts with ice cream 🍨
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I’m thankful to know you too! 🙂
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Happy early birthday! I’m thinking I will bring coconut cake…or would you prefer a lemon pound cake? This virtual birthday will be a bash! And you can re-create it in real life later when things go back to normal.
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Ooh lemon pound cake, please! ❤️
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Look at you! All beautiful and such.
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Ditto, my friend. ❤️
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Happy almost big five-oh! Of course you’re a little sad that you can’t celebrate the way you want and with all the people you love (in person). That sucks. But you sound content with things and even with yourself…which is the most important thing of all.
Much love and many blessings to you on your special day. I love and miss you! xoxo
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Thank you, friend. And thank you for making my birthday week special. I have the sticker you sent on my laptop and see it every day. ❤️
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It’s 12:25am now, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ❤ When things to get better again, I better see a blog post with how everything looks from your backyard. I hope you spend your day feeling loved.
And I am with you on that InstaPot btw.
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I plan on it! Thank you! ❤️
Also, RIGHT?? 🙄
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Happy Birthday. I agree about getting to old for pretending I like something when I don’t. I also added pretending I like “someone” when I don’t to my list when I hit 50. Just saying.
I adore the bottle with flowers hanging from the tree branch. That is an idea I’ll keep in mind as I will the pretty in pink cocktail recipe. Goals for better days.
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I agree 100% to that as well. 🙌🏻
Me too. Goals for better days, is right. 🌸💕
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Happy 50th! You still look like a kid in that photo. It’s a great shot.
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Aww, thank you!
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OMG, the InstaPot. HAHAHAHA Kris asked me if I want her InstaPot. I lovingly declined.
This party will happen!! I don’t care if it’s on your 51st or 52nd birthday. We will make it happen.
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Yes! We will celebrate my 50th for years to come! 😂😂
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Oh, oh, oh I love the floral arrangement idea. And yes to potlucks. As soon as I can, I’m hosting one of those suckers. Who knew that the things I miss would be things that regularly make me roll my eyes!
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Me too! ❤️
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