I shared this passage from Caroline Garnet McGraw’s book You Don’t Owe Anyone: Free Yourself From the Weight of Expectations:
“How does it feel to think about your life through the lens of this broader definition of trauma? Are you starting to see the moments where you made excuses and brushed aside real pain?
For example, did you ever tell your real truth only to have an authority figure deny it immediately and emphatically? Did a trusted adult ever negate your reality? If so, then you know how quickly your mind tries to resolve the cognitive dissonance. They must be right, you reason, so I must be wrong.”
Can you relate to this?
I’ve shared this quote before, but I touched on this idea in the podcast:
I also read a tiny snippet from my book, but my mouse wasn’t working. Here is the snippet in its entirety:
“That isn’t perimenopause.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice barely audible above the noise in the room.
“Perimenopause doesn’t last that long.”
I started to choke, so I drank some water. I was going to rebuke her comment when she started talking to someone next to her.
I excused myself from the table and stumbled through the restaurant, barely making it to the meager bathroom.
I had vaped marijuana that morning before the event, and I was concerned that everyone around me was aware that I was high.
In the mirror, I see familiar red cheeks. I look like a child who has been slapped across the face. My eyes well up with tears.
“It’s okay,” I tell myself. You’re going through it. You’re feeling every bit of it. It’s real.”
Has an authority figure ever denied your truth?