Anxiety, Birds, Blogging, Grief, Humor, Life, Nonsense, Writing

53 Things I’ve Learned In 53 Years

Kari

Recently, I’ve read a few posts about things I’ve learned since reaching a certain age.

40 Things I’ve Learned in 40 Years

Library Mindset on Instagram: “40 Things I Wish I’d Known At 40 Book

Here are 53 things I’ve learned over the course of my 53 years.

1- My life became a lot easier once I realized I didn’t have control over it.

2- Being a good listener is very hard.

3- Nothing practical was taught to me in school.

4- Empathy and sympathy are two distinct emotions.

5- Try not to take anything personally. Try not to take anything personally. Try not to take anything personally. TRY NOT TO TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY. (Man, is this one really hard)

6- I suddenly started noticing birds, and it has changed my life for the better.

7- Good quality shoes are a wise investment. But I still have to break them in.

8- Leaving Facebook was one of the best things I ever did for my mental health.

9- 90% of the time I’d rather stay in, eat snacks, and watch a documentary.

10- I can’t do gadgets or things that require a lot of instructions.

11- Learning mindfulness helped me with my anxiety more than my antidepressant did.

12- However, I am extremely grateful for antidepressants.

13- It’s okay not to be busy.

14- I didn’t like therapy. I wanted to like it. But that doesn’t mean I’m not open to it in the future. 

15- Owning up to mistakes (and I’ve made a lot) is very painful.

16- Losing my ego (and mindfulness) allowed that pain to fade gradually.

17- 75% of my chest pains are caused by gas bubbles. The rest are from anxiety.

18- I never want to be famous or extremely wealthy.

19- If a customer service representative is rude to me, it is likely because they have been treated poorly in the past. I’ll be nice to them regardless of the service I receive. And I will not write a bad review.

20- Most negative reviews are motivated by ego. Not poor service.

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

21- Always tip. Even the Starbucks barista. ESPECIALLY the Starbucks barista.

22- The definition of privilege is not what I thought it was.

23- We’re all going to die, but no one wants to talk about it.

24- Traveling is overrated.

25- Other people are not concerned about what I’m doing. They’re preoccupied with their own life.

26-Sometimes hate wins.

27- I most likely have ADHD.

28- Don’t believe everything I read on social media. Particularly on holidays.

29-Spend the extra money for more expensive makeup. I won’t have to use as much of it..

30- There are many people who are compensated in product or money for writing/saying things. Don’t believe everything I read or hear.

Photo by Keira Burton on Pexels.com

31- The more I cry, the happier I am.

32- I really hate cleaning my bathrooms.

33- I’ll do less laundry if I have fewer clothes.

34- Brainwashing is real.

35- Karma is not what I originally believed it to be.

36- Celebrate my birthday to the fullest because being alive is a miracle.

37- There are many words that I don’t know how to spell or what they mean.

38- My health suffers when I suppress my emotions.

39- The most influential teachers in my life so far have been: pain, menopause, the pandemic, and grief.

40- Nothing is ever a waste of time if it makes me happy.

41- Question everything.

42- Adults screw things up; children have the answers. Pay closer attention to children.

43- People will talk about me, and it’s none of my business.

44- I really don’t enjoy cooking.

45- Write it down immediately or I will forget it.

46- Music transports me.

47- Even if it sometimes feels like I don’t, I do make a difference. Each and every one of us does.

48- The little things in my life mean the most to me.

49- I really hate small talk.

50- Magnesium. Eat some, take some, rub some in.

Photo by Vlad Cheu021ban on Pexels.com

51- Always bring my phone with me when I use a public restroom.

52- Listen to my gut. Every time.

53- There is no finish line when it comes to becoming a better human. I am always evolving.

What have you learned so far?

Discover more from A Grace Full Life

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

49 thoughts on “53 Things I’ve Learned In 53 Years”

  2. I’m procrastinating packing, so here goes:

    I often lament the fact that I didn’t learn enough practical things in school. Something as simple as botany in science would have been a lot more useful than physics. Nutrition would have been more helpful than economics. I could go on and on.

    I also hate small talk. Don’t ask how I am if you are not interested. I’m also a hater of instructions, esp. when it comes with gadgets. When desktops started showing pictures for how to set up, I was so thrilled. When I read instructions, it’s like my brain shuts down and I no longer understand English.

    Where we differentiate: My favorite thing is travel. I’m not sure why. I’ve always enjoyed it, but I think the older I get, the more I feel like I want to see more before I die (yes, why don’t we talk about that??) The other is reviews. I write them and I read them. I find them so helpful when researching anything . . . things I buy on amazon, hotels, local restaurants, etc. And I feel as though my writing a review is ‘giving back.’ I’ve mostly written reviews on Trip Advisor, but I will occasionally do a Google review or Amazon. And if a review I read is especially horrible, I will look at that person’s history to see if they complain about everything to give it some context.

    LOL on #51. I’m honored to have taught you something!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I always put off packing! Preparing for a trip is my least favorite task.

      I’d love for you to write a post about this. You’ve made excellent comparisons! You’ll notice that I said “you” do that post.

      I am a huge fan of IKEA. I hate IKEA furniture.

      In general, I do not like traveling (flying, hotels, driving). I do, however, like the experiences we’ve had while traveling.

      I should add that I appreciate thorough reviews, and you seem like the kind of reviewer I would like. A unbiased review is something I also appreciate. On Amazon, it can sometimes be difficult to tell if the reviewer was compensated, which bothers me.

      I was traumatized FOR you! Never again will I forget to bring my phone. 🤣

      Like

  4. Kari, I think the major one that I too have learned is #1. We truly don’t have control over life. However, I do believe we have control over how we “perceive and react” to what happens.

    #15 – I look at mistakes (not the best choices) I’ve made in my life, and see them as lessons. So, as long as I learned, I no longer see them as “mistakes.”

    52- Listen to my gut. Every time. Absolutely! And I’m getting ready to post something on that same topic soon!

    One major thing I’ve learned in my 67-years is to “stay curious” about life. It always keeps me involved.

    Fab post, my friend! Great lessons! X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, Ron. When I hear the phrase “go with the flow,” it makes me laugh because I always imagine myself in a kayak on a river, and my life is in that kayak. I can only go where the river takes me. It helped me in dealing with difficult situations in my life, especially over the last three years.

      Lessons. Yes! That is awesome. I will use that word instead. 

      I can’t wait to read it.

      Stay curious! I agree. There has been a lot of talk in recent months about the power of awe and how it is beneficial to our health.

      Thank you, friend! 😘❤️

      Like

  5. Hi Kari and Happy Birthday! I find I gravitate to these lists. They validate how I feel or I get an aha moment. I am nodding my head “yes” on empathy versus sympathy; not take things personally for me is from the “Four Agreement” (a little bible) ….#11…ahhhh, good one; another ahhh, #25; #36…sharing your wisdom; #42…a favourite; #47…extra love; #52…okay, you now have me in the palm of your hands…….a great post! Thank you for sharing. I am leaving with gems and goosebumps. 💕 Erica

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Girl, you’ve learned a lot! Wouldn’t it be cool, or at least different if we learned all these things in 25 years? Maybe not. Maybe we need to be dumb for many years to appreciate knowing what we know now.

    I just started magnesium and music has always transported me, it is my daily therapy and background music to this movie I call Life. :)

    I might have to disagree about the laundry part. I can only wear so many clothes in one day, whether I have four outfits or forty. 😜😳

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s because I am OLD. 😊
      It would have been nice to know these things 25 years ago.

      Magnesium is GOLD. No one talks about it, but they should. It helps with so many things; sleep, anxiety, heart palpitations, migraines…

      You have the same feelings about clothes as I do about shoes. 🤣

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Your list! So wise. Feel like I should print it & tack it up & look at it daily to remind me of the important things in life. Like my college years cork board. Remember those? So much wisdom, creativity and goofiness thumb tacked (mine looked like lil people!) into prominence.

    I think my list would repeat many of yours but also…
    Be kind to yourself.
    Be patient with yourself. (Weirdly, I was raised to be kind & patient with other people, but myself? Not so much.)
    You are tough and strong but you do not need to “tough it out”. And anyone who tells you to “tough it out” can suck it.
    Listen to your nervous system.
    You need to be surrounded by nature every day and city walks don’t count.
    Reread your favorite childhood books. Rad them to find out what you really want out of life. Pursue.
    Buy land. Buy lots and lots of land.
    Learn small engine repair. Even if you don’t do it. Learn it.
    Almost Everyone is gonna get dementia or Alzheimer’s or something similar. Love people while they are here. Call them. See them. Encourage them to pursue their dreams while they can.
    Our society fails people with chronic illnesses.
    Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself. (So important I had to write it twice!)
    Hugs ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG. You’re making me blush in the best way possible because I never went away to college.

      I understand the importance of being kind and patient with others, but not with myself. Oh man.
      Anything containing the word “tough” must be eliminated.
      On Sunday, we were in Chicago proper, and as we drove down Dusable Lake Shore Drive, I noticed how green the city was. As in, actually green. Trees, bushes, and flower boxes. And this was within the LOOP of Chicago, where there were high rises. It made me extremely happy.
      More children’s books, please. I wish the world had more Children’s Book Stores.
      Small Engine Repair should have been taught in high school. Just saying…
      I agree with dementia and Alzheimer’s. Why are we so taken by surprise when someone is diagnosed? WE ARE LIVING LONGER.

      I AM STANDING ON MY CHAIR YELLING. YES TO FAILING PEOPLE WITH CHRONIC ILLNESS.

      I love you. I hope you know it. 😘

      Like

  8. P.S. saw your your mix tape CD and a wave of nostalgia swept over me. Remembering spending hours putting those together and then enjoying the poo out of decorating them – writing just so…. finding a cool image for the jewel case cover using old magazines… Thank you for that reminder!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wasn’t that an incredible time? Rio by Duran Duran came on the radio as I was driving Ellie to school this morning, and it reminded me of Kari’s mixed “tape” that she made for me. I love music so much. 

      Like

      1. It really was. The amount of creative stuff we made by hand just because! I miss that but have no idea how to incorporate that into present day, everyday life. My husband still has the Music Compilations I made him when we were dating… as music file playlists! Brings back so many diff memories.

        Have to ask… what did Ellie think of Rio? Is it Geezer Music? 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Kari,! I LOVE your list so much!
    #5 Don’t take things personally – it’s worth repeating many, many times!
    #9 Yes, 100% yes, to staying in and eating snacks!
    #19 I am always kind to customer service workers. I’ve been there, and I understand how difficult their job is.
    #37 There are so many words I don’t know how to pronounce or what they mean. And the rules of grammar are eluding me lately. Have the rules about commas changed?
    And since I’m 54, I’ll add one more thing that I’ve learned:
    A person’s health issues are not their fault! I feel like there’s so much blame on people who get sick – well, they must have eaten the wrong thing, done the wrong thing, whatever. These things just happen, and we should stop blaming people for them!
    And happy birthday, Kari! I wish you a wonderful year!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Michelle!
      Team stay in and eat snacks! ❤️
      I’ve been there as well. I spent my entire working life in retail, so I have a soft spot in my heart for anyone who works in customer service.
      So, I’ve been working on a post about words I don’t know how to spell or what they mean. I simply haven’t had the time to work on it yet. So maybe I should get to work…
      As someone who suffers from chronic pain, I completely agree with #54.

      Thank you! ❤️😘

      Like

  10. This is a great list!
    It’s so important not to take things personally, and I try to remember that every day. I don’t always remember it though.
    I like Facebook but when I left Twitter it felt like a weight lifted and joy surged. It had been fun at one point, and then it just became a toxic sewer for me.
    Life is such a journey, isn’t it? So many opportunities to learn and grow, and we are just never done. It’s kind of refreshing, actually, to think that every day is a new page.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nicole, I don’t always remember it either. I should put it on a post-it note and keep it with me wherever I go. 

      The feeling you had when you left Twitter was the same as mine when I left Facebook. I haven’t officially left Twitter, but I no longer have the app on my phone and no longer have access to it on my laptop. I no longer visit it except to automatically share my blog there. I used to love Twitter for Real Housewives gossip, and it’s something I really miss. 🤣

      Every day IS a new page, which is very refreshing.

      Like

  11. Oh, I love this list so much! You’ve inspired me to start my own list. :-) I found myself saying “yep” and nodding at a lot of yours, though…

    I’m glad I don’t have chest pain. I would think I was having a heart attack.
    I wish I could cry. The only time I do is when someone else is crying.
    I love cooking – but only when I’m in the mood.
    Some cheap makeup is actually good – for example, Elf eyebrow pencil. Works just as well as the more expensive ones!

    OK, so a few of the things I’ve learned…

    The most generous people are the ones with the least amount of money.
    Coffee makes my anxiety worse and gives me diarrhea – but dang it, I love it.
    One of the first things people ask is, “What do you do?” Can we change this, please?
    The food we put into our bodies is everything. (“Let food be thy medicine”.)
    I will never love anyone as much as I love my children.

    xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so happy you’re going to make your own list! I was hoping that others would as well!

      During perimenopause, I had a lot of chest pains. They stopped around the time I went through menopause. I’m not sure if it’s because of that, or because I started taking magnesium and an antidepressant at the same time! But I’m glad I don’t have them all the time, and when I do, they’re usually gas bubbles or anxiety.

      Every day, I cry. My soul homework helped me in learning to do it more often. I’ve also recently learned more about expressive writing (thanks to Rita). I’ll have to include a link in my tater tot post one of these days. That has also made me cry more.

      My mom and grandma were both excellent cooks when I was growing up. My mom is passionate about it, but I am not. I did it so that I could feed my family. I realized how little I enjoyed it as the kids grew older. But I appreciate the fact that my mom enjoys cooking for others. It is her love language, and it benefits us all. 💕

      YES to the most generous people! OMG. That is so true.

      I’m laughing at the one about coffee.

      I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME THIS. That is a big reason why I hate small talk.

      I will never love anyone as much as I love my children. Yes. That. 😘

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t know why I don’t/can’t cry. I probably hold too much inside. Tearing up at sappy TV commercials or when others cry – no problem. But on my own? Nope, doesn’t happen.

        My mom’s love language is definitely cooking and feeding people. She feeds her neighbor-friends (makes homemade sourdough bread and gives it awy) and when anyone is sick (family, friends, neighbors), she immediately makes a pot of homemade soup. I do that sometimes, but not as often as she does. In fact, I need to go make dinner right now but I’m not in the mood, ha ha. But we have to eat. ;-)

        I love Rita’s writing. I just can’t comment on her blog posts, for whatever reason. My comments won’t go through.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I should’ve been more specific…I don’t make homemade bread – at least not sourdough – but I do make soup in the winter! <3

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Excellent list, Kari! Congratulations on 53 trips around the sun 🌞.

    Regarding tipping – I have a question. I was always taught to not tip the business owner, if that is who is providing the service. Because they are making a profit (hopefully) and – in the case of salons – are taking a cut or renting the space to the person actually doing the work. I have ignored that rule if I knew the owner personally and knew they were struggling and certainly that was the case during the pandemic. Is that still a rule? I ask because I used to go to a business for pedicures but “my” person has now gone out on her own and is still charging the salon prices. I really like her and don’t want to hurt her by not tipping if things have changed and I am out of the loop.

    Deb

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Deb! 😘❤️

      I remember a friend of mine telling me the same thing about tipping a business owner. I continue to tip. It is a courtesy to me because they are performing a service for me that I could not perform for myself. So I consider it a form of respect to express gratitude for what they have done for me. Does this make sense?

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I love your lessons, Kari. There are so many that ring true for me, too. Too many to name them, but I’ve got to say about #6: What is it with birds? Just the last few weeks, I’ve been really tuned into the birds in our yard–but especially last week when I was in migraine hell. All I could do was sit around, so I sat in the backyard and discovered a whole bird society going on back there. And maybe not just birds, but all the animals. Dogs. I swear I’m having some kind of spiritual connection with just about every dog I pass these days.

    I’m trying to think of lessons I’ve learned that you haven’t listed (but I’m tired from working a lot the past two days). Here’s one: In 10 years, you’re going to look back at the picture of yourself from today and think you looked good. Instead of waiting 10 years to feel good about how you look today, you should just do that right now.

    Also, related: All young people are beautiful. We should let them know it.

    Not the deepest insight, but one I wish I’d had sooner.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My love affair with birds began during lockdown and has grown since then. I’m glad you’re finding comfort with birds (and other animals) while struggling with migraines. They also helped me in getting through mine. Animals are just the best.

      That is an excellent lesson. My mom got some pictures in the mail from a relative last year, and in the envelope were photos from my first wedding. I never felt like I looked that good at my wedding, and when I looked back at 25-year-old me, I was amazed at how beautiful I was. I would never have described myself as beautiful back then. I hope 25-year-old me is hearing 52-year-old me say those words somewhere in the universe.

      All young people are beautiful. ❤️

      Like

  14. With you wholeheartedly on the shoes, leaving Facebook, not being famous [just respected please], traveling is overrated, hating small talk, magnesium, and that I’m constantly evolving.

    As a blogger I’ve learned that listicles, like this one, are perfectly fine and that every post doesn’t have to be a story. An insight for me.

    Also, you’ve reminded me that long before blogs existed I did a list like this on my 37th birthday. I wonder if I still have it… 🤔

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t use the word “listicles” as one of my tags. It’s a mid-2000s blogging term I’m not sure everybody understands. I use “Random List” instead. I don’t have a search bar anymore, just links to my categories in general. When I had a search bar my content was being swiped then plagiarized because miscreants could search specifically for a topic, then use my writing as their own. It was too easy for them. 🤨

        Liked by 1 person

  15. #6 is so true. I never thought I’d become a birder, yet here we are. I think it’s an age/maturity thing.

    I also wholeheartedly agree with #46. Music is absolutely essential to my life. I can’t not listen to it, usually all day long. At least I have no doubt I’m getting my money’s worth with my Spotify subscription.

    Is that lumpia and pancit?

    P.S. I would attempt to tackle this challenge myself, but I’m a year older than you. I can come up with 53 things, but 54 is IMPOSSIBLE. I’ll sadly have to pass.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, but why do we suddenly develop an interest in birds as we get older? It’s almost as if our Sims character is handed that when we get our AARP cards.

      I have the same feelings about music AND Spotify. I have two music subscriptions because my daughters both enjoy Apple Music more. 🤣

      YES, IT IS. AND she has a food truck down here, but she occasionally travels up to Wisconsin to visit Farmer’s Markets in Kenosha and Racine. I’ll send you an Instagram message with her account so you and Tara can find her!

      LOL. Who knows…maybe keep a note in your phone and add to it as ideas come to you…

      Liked by 1 person

  16. What a great list, Kari.

    As for therapy, I did it off and on for 15 years. I’m a slow learner. I don’t think I ever liked *it* and I sometimes didn’t like my therapists very much, but I liked the changes it helped me make. (I think people who LIKE going to therapy be doing it wrong.)

    And lastly, I like those socks a lot.

    And yes to evolving. I hope to continue to anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with you on therapy. I also think my therapist was not a good fit. I liked her, but I think I was trying to say the right things instead of saying what I really felt. But there are many days when I think to myself, “I wish she could see me now,” and not in an arrogant way, but in a proud way. I’m still trying to impress her on some level. I’m not sure how to unpack that.

      I love those socks. Those are my “lockdown socks.” 🤣

      Here’s to our continued evolution, Katie!

      Like

  17. I can’t believe I missed this post. How? Well, I know HOW – but here I am. I’ve learned that some things can’t be helped and it does no good to get worked up. A few times lately I messed something up, or it got messed up, and I realized that there was no reason to panic. I could do nothing. Like the construction traffic that messed up my exit (mislabeled it) from the toll road and made me late for my annual OBGYN appointment instead of early.

    I also hate cleaning my bathrooms. HATE.

    I also agree with #40. If I am enjoying myself, I need to stop feeling like I’m wasting my time. The laundry (and a million other things) can wait. ;)

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.