Blogging, Favorite Things, Grief, Humor, Nonsense, Universe, What I Kept

what i kept | september 2023

Kari

these are the things i kept on my phone in the month of september.

click here to read previous posts.

ella has a better green thumb than i do. this is the snake plant she has in her room. 🖤
source

@stephtonneson

“Why do i look so bad in pictures?” This is why 😎 #photogenictipi #photogenictipp #photogenictips

♬ original sound – Steph Tonneson

beauty that moves…
titty’s back ❤️
i love you, mom and dad 😘
@mindbodynina

And I’ll say it again. #nervoussystemregulation

♬ original sound – Nina
they are my constant yoga companions
anna has been requesting old recipes. which has inspired me to start cooking again.
this zinnia started blooming the week mike broke his leg. it was in a random location near our front sidewalk.
soul garden/sunflowers/zinnias
little nudges from the universe. bijoux knows. 🖤
my mom had texted me that she couldn’t take her eyes off the picture of my grandmother (her mother) and uncle, and how much my daughter and nephew resembled them. (both are named after them) i said it was adorable, and she loved my comment at 1:11. 🖤
constant. yoga. companion.
and here is that late blooming zinnia. thank you, universe.
that ice cream trail is from me
giving dad a one foot pedicure
tuna fish potato chip sandwich

i shared the New York Times recipe for tuna crunch sandwiches, which, of course, had a paywall.

here is the recipe:

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56 thoughts on “what i kept | september 2023”

  3. I love your yoga companions! I’m sorry it’s been so tough lately, but I can see all the ways you are able to meet the toughness with the things you’ve saved. You’ve got tools, girl! And you’re using them. (Saying just because sometimes it’s hard to see our strength when it’s being tested.) Also: tuna sandwiches are one of my favorite kinds.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This past week has been very hard for me. Mike then told me yesterday, “We’re halfway there!” (This did not make me feel any better.) Even with my tools, it’s been difficult to see strength lately.

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      1. I can see why Mike’s words didn’t make you feel better. When I was in the thick of my misery this summer, a comment like that would have made me think only about how long the road ahead still was and feel some kind of despair. But I don’t think I was weak, and I don’t think you are, either. I think maybe strength doesn’t mean feeling OK while getting through something hard. It means getting through it. It means staying in it and coming out the other side able to make repair to whatever was damaged by the crisis, and then doing the work of repair. I think letting yourself feel what you’re feeling is part of strength, too. At the least, it helps you be strong. Repressing feelings is what really makes us weak. That’s what makes us do damage, to ourselves and others. Holding you in my thoughts. Wish I could bring you a casserole or something. :-) (Not that I know how to make any kind of casserole anyone would want to eat. But you get the idea, I’m sure.)

        Liked by 2 people

      2. This makes perfect sense. I was also in a really bad mood last week. Too much to say here, but I’m feeling a lot better this weekend. Last night, Anna, Ella, my mom, my dad, and I spent the night at their house. It was a lot of fun, and it felt so absolutely healing to get out of the house (besides Ella’s school, doctor appointments, etc)

        I wish you lived close enough to bring me something. The offer makes me feel extremely loved. My village (aside from my immediate family) is sometimes all of you. This community has made me so happy over the last three weeks. I’ve smiled and laughed so much because of so many of yours (and others) uplifting comments. I appreciate you so very much. 🖤

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I love your yoga companions too! You always have the best pictures of your doggies. When I turned on your YouTube video with them excited for the treats being delivered, our dog came running over to the computer looking for where the barks were coming from and was confused. I never saw her do that before. Made me laugh. Thank you.

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  5. Now I’m kind of wishing I had added potato chips to my sandwich (I went with lettuce and tomato instead– healthier sure but not nearly as fun!).

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  6. I meander through all the things left on your phone for the month of September and I feel as if I have a private glimpse into your life. Thank you. It’s such a lovely world you’ve created and then you share with us all, ice cream, single pedicures, things I’ve done and potato chips in tuna sandwiches. There is no other post I’d like mingle with on Wednesday. Hugs, C

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  7. True story: I was scrolling through this post, thinking, “It’s been awhile since Kari posted a pic of her feet.” And then, toward the bottom, voila!

    Don’t ask me to even try to attempt why I was thinking that. The world works in mysterious ways. I’m just along for the ride.

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    1. That is so funny! I used to include a lot of shoe/foot pictures in my posts to show places I’d been. This was before I felt good about sharing selfies.

      Friend, I completely understand. There is no need to explain. 🖤

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Ok, that Nina girl made me a nervous wreck with her movements. I cannot even handle when people sway side to side when they are talking to me. I start to feel seasick. But I understand her point.

    Your handwriting makes me happy. I love your list of things you thought you’d never do.

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    1. P.S. I feel like telling you about some other obscure band just to see if First Wave starts playing them! I’d say Tom Tom Club, but Genius of Love is all over the place lately!

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  9. Kari, I LOVE your list of things you never thought you wouldn’t do! Doesn’t it amaze you how the word “never” bites you in the ass? I can’t tell you how many things I said I would NEVER do, but did. LOL!

    I also have a tattoo. Never though I would. See!!!!

    LOVE that dusty windshield drawing!

    Yaaaaaay….welcome back, Titty!!!!

    The Chodron words are ones I tried to follow everyday.

    And so true about vulnerability! That’s something I had to learn way back when I lost everything that meant security to me.

    Green is one of my favorite colors, so I LOVE that door!

    Thanks for sharing what you kept, my friend. Good ones! Have a fantabulous rest of your week! X

    P.S. Beautiful soul homework video!

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  12. BEAUTY THAT MOVES!!! Gosh, I love that. I also love looking at your face with love. My MIL once said to me, when I said something about aging and wrinkles, that she doesn’t see any wrinkles, she just sees Nicole. And I thought about that so much, because when I look at my friends, I don’t see flaws or imperfections, I just see them. So now when I look at myself, I think “That’s me!” Also, my MIL has only sight in her one eye and that one eye has cataracts but STILL. It is the spirit behind it that matters! Lol.
    Potato chips are just so good. I read on Cup of Jo about everyone’s favourite appetizer being ripple chips with onion dip, and damn if that isn’t true. I make this amazing dip with tofu, cashews, and Knorr’s Vegetable Soup Mix, with a little spoon of nutritional yeast, and goddamn it is good. I served it with Old Dutch ripple chips because I AM CANADIAN and it’s a favourite at every party so far.

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  13. The dog, I think it is Buddy, with the bug eyes staring at you made me laugh. Oh wow, I want someone to bring me an ice cream treat. I love, LOVE black and white pictures and I really love the screen saver photo on your phone. It speaks volumes. I was confused by what Nina was trying to tell us, to keep moving desipite the rules of life or something? She can MOVE, but it was almost unsettling. ;) So when you weren’t cooking, was someone else cooking? Or was it just a lot of sandwiches with potato chips. I might be asking for someone who is tired of cooking and wants an out, I mean other options.

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    1. Buddy is always watching.

      I think Nina’s video isn’t for you.

      I wasn’t cooking. It was a lot of takeout and microwave meals. I have picky eaters and I don’t make separate meals for separate humans.

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  15. “How can I be of service?” That is such a brilliant way to approach anything. I also like the listen to your gut advice. Somehow those two concepts seem intertwined to me. Another month of cool stuff on your phone.

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  16. That nervous system regulation TikTok! Yes! All the yessesss!

    I’ve been learning about this topic and also diving into nervous sysyem responses in people & animals and it is soooo fascinating. Why are we not taught this? We could be such better humans towards ourselves, towards others, towards animals (there are some super interesting horse trainers using polyvagal theory and omg wow the relief these horses have when a person finally listens to their subtle horsey cues).

    That TikTok tho… wow. Yes. We crush people’s abilities to self regulate. And then we wonder at the shutdowns, the crushing anxiety – especially in kids, who are so vulnerable. Happily there are some amazing folks out there – freely sharing what they know. There’s a great YouTuber who is on the spectrum and has taught me so much. I have no idea if I’m neurotypical or not but I know learning about this topic from that angle has helped me immensely. Or maybe it is just her. Finding someone who can teach is golden.

    For me it was singing. I used to sing constantly in my own space (not public). Then I stopped bc there were no judgement-free spaces to sing (dorm life, etc). But now I’m singing again (another reason my husband is perfect), even tho I’m crap at it! But omg it is like a big hug for my nervous system. Totally wild.

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    1. Maddie, I knew you’d understand. I’m so glad to see you this week.

      It’s funny that you’re talking about horses. In the spring, I visited a gestalt therapist who works with horses and witnessed firsthand how they deal with trauma and emotions. It was absolutely incredible.

      That TikTok really spoke to me. I used to do those things when I was younger. Ella used to do those things when she was younger. I want to cry for myself. I want to cry for her. I want to cry for so many of us who have been taught that we aren’t loved as we are….the quote I shared from a book I was reading.

      I would love the name of that YouTuber.

      Keep singing, Maddie. Never stop. 😘❤️

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      1. Lil nervous passing her name on bc you never know these days, right? But as far as I know, she’s not evil :-) so I’ll share

        The YouTuber is Mom on the Spectrum. She found out she was autistic a few years ago in her early 30s – after having kids, etc. Her more recent videos are a bit better than her earlier stuff. Her story is interesting to me bc she doesn’t fit the definition of autistic that I learned as a kid. She was Homecoming Queen in HS (she has a video about that!)! But she always felt different. So she’s great at describing how life can impact anyone with a sensitive nervous system or anyone who is not neurotypical bc she has been there.

        As someone who gets migraines (yay sensory overload am I right?), I watch her content & have a lot of omg moments. Not everything speaks to me but when it does whoa.

        Oh! The shaking thing in the TikTok reminded me of Peter Levine’s polar bear example of how animals process trauma and move it out of their systems. If you haven’t seen it you might google. Totally natural response!

        And yah…. kids just learning how to regulate and getting swiped down by society. Ugh. I’m so sorry you & Ella or anyone went thru that. Heartbreaking. Society can be clueless. We do all deserve to be loved for who we are! You are so right!

        I don’t know why, but hearing a researcher say: Children are not capable of self-regulation on their own. They depend upon not just their parents, but also the adults around them to understand, regulate, process emotions, etc. Hearing that & realizing so many kids don’t get that support *and* may have their coping skills judged…. That was an a-ha moment.

        The horse experience you went to! Omg! I wish I had seen that! What a wonderful thing for you! The clarity with which animals move through the emotional world. Your dog’s sweet paw on your leg. My cat appearing out of nowhere to lean on me. They’re here for us if we take the time to stop & listen.

        Sorry for the novel! When I’m here, I’m *here* huh? 😀

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      2. We were watching some old home movies last night, and my mom and I were discussing how the energy in the room felt when we saw all of us interacting in the video. It felt off, like we were acting. The majority of us are now on antidepressants, and many of us have ADHD/autism diagnoses. What a different life it would have been if doctors and educators had listened to us.

        I had never considered migraines as a result of sensory overload. Wow. Also, I will be talking in my tater tot post about going to PT for my migraines and that the upper skeletal part of my body is out of alignment. At the same time, I’m reading a book about chakras and how, when a person feels a lot of shame, their upper body is held in a specific way. My ribs are literally out of alignment. 

        I just cried while watching the polar bear video. Isn’t it unfortunate that we don’t know how to do this on our own?

        One of the home videos showed me sitting in a room on Easter Sunday when I was 35 years old. I kept yawning and looked depressed. Anna immediately noticed it and said something to me. I noticed that all three of the dogs in the room were sitting all around me. Two were at my feet, one was on my lap. 🖤

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  17. A picture is truly worth a thousand words! Your photos evoked so many emotions in me. This was a lovely, personal glimpse into your life.

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  18. I’m a big fan of tuna sandwiches and tuna melts, and this recipe sure levels it up. None in the house right now, but gonna need to get some chips to try it out! I, too, enjoyed this sharing of your life.

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  19. Love all these photos and the sentiments behind them. In your youtube video, it is labeled acupuncture mat. Is this something new, or did you mean yoga mat? And darn it, now I want to make tuna salad (actually, I don’t want to make it – I just want to eat it!) and go out for ice cream. I think tomorrow will be my day to treat myself. :-)

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      1. I have never heard of an acupuncture mat! I will have to look it up. I never did go out for ice cream but I DID go to the beach. :-)

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  20. A sandwhich is crap without chips.
    I love the 1:11 text!!
    Dogs love yoga and treats….and why not?
    I love that Mike got a pedicure—daughters are the best thing ever!!

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