Humor, Life

Yeah, About That “List”

Back in October, I made a list.
Because we know how much I love lists.
About 25 things I wanted to do before my 25th reunion?
Remember that list??
Well, it isn’t going as swimmingly as I had hoped.

First off, I would like to establish that no one in my graduating class seems to know of any 25-year reunion going on.
Not one soul has any clue if it is even happening.
Here’s what stymies me- they had a five-year reunion.
Some people aren’t even through college in five years!
Balding hasn’t even happened!
Beer guts aren’t yet appearing!
Who wants to see your classmates after five years?
I sure didn’t.
But 25 years?
Hell yes.
Bring on the receding hairlines, stretch marks, and camaraderie about peeing when you laugh.
I want it all.
So I hope something is in the works soon.
Because it is really putting a damper on my list.

So in honor of my 25th reunion possibly not happening, here is my somewhat failed list.

1- Go whitewater rafting. What was I thinking??? First off, my parents had told us about this great place near them in Tennessee where the Atlanta Olympics in 1996 held their rafting events. Who even knew rafting was in the Olympics?? So it stoked me! When we were there visiting over Christmas, the hubs and I went on a little adventure looking for this whitewater rafting site. Only to get lost in what became a scene out of Deliverance and we skedaddled out of there. So something tells me that if I can get lost, with the help of GPS and maps, I have no business going rafting, to begin with.
List- 1, Kari- 0

2- take an airplane ride all by myself. This you need to know about me. My husband and I have an agreement: we will not go alone together anywhere on a plane until the girls are older. Think in their twenties older. It may seem odd to you, but I just don’t want them to be orphans because we needed an adult “getaway”. Morbid? Totally. Realistic? Possibly. I am going on a plane with my oldest this June and this is way out of my comfort zone. Am I going on a plane totally alone? Whoa whoa…..don’t get crazy. But I am going on a plane with only half of my little family, so this is a huge thing for me.
Kari- 1, List-1

3- run a 5k– check! Did this in September and am running jogging crawling another at the end of May.
Kari- 2, List-1

4- eat sushi. Yeah, the more I thought of this one, the more I realized I don’t like sushi. And eating sushi has no business being on a bucket list if you never care if you ever eat it. So nope. Not happening. Although, at the writing of this update, Rebecca is still trying to get me to a sushi place. If you see someone hanging onto the door frame at a sushi restaurant near you, yeah. HI!
Kari- 2 List- 2

5- Follow through, in everything I do– OK, I am proud of myself. I used to be a habitual canceller. Not to be mean or spiteful, but I would make plans and over-schedule myself constantly so much that I was also canceling regularly. Now I make sure that I don’t overbook myself, follow through with friends, and if someone asks to get together, I do. I am proud of myself for this change and have found that I have more plans with friends than I ever did because of this.
Kari- 3 List- 2

6- drink a tequila shot. I am still planning on doing this. Plus, I have a blogging convention in July and am rooming with four of my blog besties. I can guarantee this will happen then.
Kari- 4 List- 2

7- get a spa facial. The hubs bought me a gift cert to a spa for Valentine’s day this year and I could have got a facial but I opted for a massage. Why? Because I didn’t know when the next time I would get to go to a spa would be and I love me a massage so I took the safe route and now I feel guilty that I didn’t go outside my box and try the facial. I am hoping to go on Groupon and find a spa nearby to try out a facial for under 30 bucks. So I am still holding out, but for now, this was a loss.
Kari- 4 List- 3

8- bikini wax. I must have been high when I wrote that list. This isn’t happening. Nair it is. Next.
Kari- 4 List- 4

9- become a more patient parent. This has happened as I write this. I don’t know what it is but as of the past several months, I just don’t have to be in such a hurry anymore. I don’t know if it is because I am seeing how fast the kids are growing up or if the Xanax has kicked in….kidding! I know I don’t need to be in such a rush everywhere I go, and I am seeing things from the girl’s perspective more. Mostly, I schooled this item.
Kari- 5 List- 4

10- save at least a grand in a saving account no one knows about. Nope. Life has gotten in the way and life has been a bitch to our family this spring. So not happening. At. All.
Kari- 5 List- 5

11- relive my love of snow skiing with my oldest. What do they say about best-laid plans? Well, we had a Saturday set aside to ski together, then an ice storm hit and skiing on ice is a huge no-no ESPECIALLY when you are a beginner. Then winter soccer started with the middle of the day games. Then we had no snow, or too cold, or too much snow, or illness… never materialized. And I am sad because I really wanted her to experience this, but I am gonna do it with her next winter. I started skiing when I was in 8th grade so I definitely want her to experience it for herself too.
Kari- 5 List- 6

12- go on a mom and me overnight trip with my tween. We are doing this! In June, we are going to Disney together with my mama and dad so we will check this off. This is also the trip I was referring to on # 2 about the plane ride. So two items checked off with one trip since she and I will fly together alone.
Kari- 6 List- 6

13-pay off a 1/4 of my debt. Refer to #10.
Kari- 6 List-7

14- lose that extra 10 pounds. Um, this winter was a hard one because I think I gained 10 pounds, but I wouldn’t know because I stopped weighing myself on a scale one dreary Saturday in March. Because it ruined my entire day and made me cry…….on the way to Smashburger and ruined my whole burger experience. Since April 1, I have been back to watching what I eat and running again so we will see. My pants fit, so I am happy.
Kari- 7 List- 7

15-Write something meaningful on the Facebook walls of my 120 friends. Um well, see now I have 180 friends because I gained a lot of friends this winter mostly from blogging. I went to a blogging overnight in Chicago in December and met a TON of amazing new friends. Then I went to a blogging lunch in January and met a few more besties. And they have friends, and they have friends and so on and so on…..anyway, I have tried to write meaningful birthday wishes on my friends’ walls and I have been more aware of what I put out there on FB as well. No negative stuff….unless it is celeb bashing, which is totally acceptable….and trying to lift friends and family up. Also, if you write a status update and no one “likes” it? I will. Because there is nothing worse than putting your hand up for the proverbial high-five and everyone leaves ya hanging. I won’t let it happen if you are my friend. Chest thump!
Kari- 8 List- 7

16- try to meet a new friend in every arena of my life and don’t give up after the first try. I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote this because I have enough amazing friends in my life. Maybe I wasn’t in a sunny place in October? The friends I have now been enough and they fulfill me completely. If I meet a new friend, I happily welcome them into my world, but I am not busting my rear to find them. So I consider this a check for me since I feel like I am in a good place.
Kari- 9 List- 7

17- learn to sew. Thanks to Rebecca, I did this! She taught me how to sew this fall when I was making Ella’s Halloween costume. I even have pictures to prove it:


I so look like I know what I am doing.
I so don’t know what I am doing.
Thank you, Rebecca.
Love you, friend.
Kari- 10 List- 7

18- eat a Chicago-style hot dog. This is the thing……I have had PLENTY of opportunities to eat a Chicago dog but every time I end up getting a Polish (Polish sausage), or a cheeseburger or a Beef (Italian Beef). Here is why- I don’t like poppy seeds. This is what they basically make the bun of if you have ever seen a Chicago dog. In fact, you can’t order any kind of dog without the poppy-seed bun in these parts. They look at you like this if you ask for “a bun without poppy seeds”:



So I am sticking to my hot dog made on the grill.
Without poppy seeds.
Kari- 10 List- 8

19- volunteer in a soup kitchen or a food bank. I was supposed to do this in the fall with a friend, but it fell through. I am going to burn in Hell. I will. The path to Hell is paved with what?? Yes. So I need to be on the lookout for this. The church we attend now doesn’t work with a food bank but we are changing churches this summer so hopefully, this will be something I can work with soon. I know what you are thinking. Kari? Goes to church?? Yes. It amazes me too.
Kari- 10 List- 9

20- redo our master bath for under 150 dollars. YES! YESSSSS!!! We did do this one! Phew…I was being all Down With Kari until this one came along. Here is the before and after:



Kari- 11 List- 9

21- go on an overnight getaway with my husband. I must have been on cold meds when I wrote this list. WHAT WAS I THINKING??? This is an enormous challenge when you don’t have family close by and we just don’t have those resources. We get away as a couple and for our anniversary this year we are getting away for ……wait for it….an entire afternoon!! I know, right?!!? Sorry. Sarcasm. A girl can hope, but this isn’t happening soon.
Kari- 11 List- 10

22- Read the Bible. Cover to cover. Going. To. Hell. I haven’t even lifted the Bible since I wrote this post. If you are a devout Christian, I can hear you shut your laptop. I am sorry. I had the best intentions……yes; I know. I hear the flames flapping’ at my feet. But I can barely get through an issue of People or Us without being interrupted or falling asleep. Ask Jen, it took me a month to read Andy Cohen’s book.
I know….burning…
Kari- eternal damnation List- first in line at the pearly gates

23-Run three times a week. Rain, snow, cold, or shine. I think I actually stopped running the day after I wrote this post. And didn’t start-up until the end of March. I am running three times a week now but didn’t do it all winter. I did a workout with Jillian Michaels’s all winter. That counts. RIGHT??
Kari- 11 List-12

24- Watch less TV. WAS I UNDER THE INFLUENCE WHEN I WROTE THIS????? Going into winter, THIS is what I decide needs to be on my bucket list?? Really????? I probably watch the same amount of TV I did when I wrote this. Which isn’t an enormous amount, I only watch TV in the evening so probably an hour and a half a night? Is that bad?
Kari- 11 List- 13

25- learn how to grill. (hanging my head in shame) I think we all know how this ends.
Kari- 11 List -14

So I only accomplished 11 things on my list.
That’s like, what?
Half my list!
And there won’t even be a reunion, anyway.
So really, I am winning.
I am.

17 thoughts on “Yeah, About That “List””

  1. I love-love-love this! Tequila is actually pretty good, you could totally do a shot:) I would be too ashamed to tell people my list, because so much of it is really sad (floss every night, wash my face every night, see? i'm gross) – but I have a lot of the same things! This is amazing. And I wish we lived close and your kids could stay with us and you could totally go away for a weekend for your anniversary!


    1. I wish you lived closer so badly for more than just the overnight sitting offer, Sue. 🙂


  2. I think 11 out of 25 is pretty good. And if not reading the Bible cover to cover means you're going to hell? Well, you'll have a lot of company, including me. I'll bring the Tequila.


  3. OMG I'm dying with laughter!!!! Ok, so on to the comments . . . . – I refuse to do tequila shots anymore. A long story that ended with me being a bad girl. I tell you about it at BlogHer. – White water rafting is AWESOME! I went in Deliverance country as well and we had a great time. Totally something that you should revisit it. – You need to teach me that bathroom makeover, because I have 3 that need help! – I get the flying thing with the hubs and the kids – You must have been completely insane to write the TV thing!! – I really love and admire how awesome your list is and that you hold yourself accountable for the things you haven't yet accomplished. You are an EXCELLENT bestie! xoxo


    1. So what you are saying, Jen is that I will be doing shots without you in July?? You are a STELLAR bestie!


  4. Oh, and P.S. I AT LEAST want a re-enactment picture of you if you don't have a real reunion. Same outfit, same pose, gently feathered hair, everything.


  5. I'm still trying to figure out how you made it through college without doing a tequila shot. But I now have a mission for BlogHer. (insert evil laugh)


  6. 3 immediate responses:Congrats on the 5K!Vicodin before a bikini wax helps.Count me in for that tequila shot (though I haven't done one since getting dry heaves 5 years ago).Love this & meet you in the hot place!


  7. I had a list before I turned 30. Said list is still just sitting there. And I'm 30. Talk about depressing!We'll get there…right?


  8. You are amazing. This is FUN reading, and who doesn't love a list? I'm gonna write one. Now. I LOVE your bathroom redo and that floor is incredible. WTF peel and stick hardwood floors….my house will be wallpapered with that stuff by tonight. Next, not tequila shots for me, but I will sip wine lotsa lotsa wine while you get crazy wasted all over the place. I'm gonna stop commenting now, before I just leave you a whole blog post here.


  9. this list is super fantastic! it takes guts to post some of those items up these; good on ya!and, um, lady, that picture of you is lovely! you still rock them blonde locks!


  10. I can't believe no one is planning your 25th year reunion. Maybe you need to tackle that project yourself. Make it number 26 on your list? We can both burn in hell for not reading the bible. When the mini series version was on tv, I thought I'd watch that instead. But it seems they skipped too much.


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