As part of her English final, Ella needed to do a project on vignettes that reflected her life, similar to the book they had just finished reading. She asked for my help, which always makes me so happy. I got to sit next to my youngest daughter and write one rainy April afternoon. That felt very special.
One of the vignettes she wanted to write was about Destin, Florida. Specifically, the last time the four of us, Anna, Mike, Ella, and I, were there together in May of 2019.
What I did not expect was what Ella would later say about it. When I asked her what her favorite memory from all three years in Destin was, she did not choose parasailing or the beach or the pool.
She chose a car ride.
We had no idea at the time that this trip would end up being the last family vacation we would take for a long while. The following winter, COVID became part of our vocabulary, and everything shifted. By the time travel felt possible again, life had already reshaped itself. Anna was out of the house and working full time, we had added another dog to the mix, and Ella’s schedule had changed completely.
But in that moment, in 2019, we’d had three spring breaks in a row in Destin. We rented a condo on the beach, and it became something we all looked forward to, a kind of rhythm and refuge. If everything had stayed the same, we probably would have planned another trip for May of 2020.
When Ella talked about what she loved most, she named the obvious things first. Parasailing for the first time. Dinners at the open-air restaurant overlooking the ocean. Long days at the pool. Eating dinner in our condo. Getting dessert in the evening. Falling asleep to the sound of waves just outside our window.
But when I asked her to narrow it down, she went to something else entirely.
The car ride.
That day, we decided to go to Panama City Beach. It was about an hour from Destin, and we wanted to drive around the area because we had never been there before. It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day.
We played music and talked the whole way there. Nothing rushed. Nothing structured. Just the four of us moving through the day together.
We drove around a bit when we arrived, then stopped at an outdoor mall for lunch. The girls got Chipotle, which had become a favorite for them, and Mike and I got Chicken Salad Chick, something we cannot get at home. Ella, who was 11 at the time, loved that she could sit and eat just with her big sister. Anna, who was 19, made it feel like a small pocket of independence for both of them, especially on vacation.
Afterward, we wandered through Target and did what you do when you are in a Target in another town. Everything feels slightly familiar and slightly new at the same time. We each got a Starbucks drink and headed back to the car.
On the drive home, Mike made a comment that his chocolate chip was stuck in his straw. It was such a small thing, but we all laughed because it sounded like the most ridiculous vacation problem. Even he was laughing at it.
That ride back is the part Ella remembers most. We played Anna’s playlist and sang along to Old Town Road and Who Do You Love by The Chainsmokers. I still hear those songs and go right back into that car.
When Ella told me this was her favorite memory from all of Destin, I felt something soften in me. The moments we think are just in between are often the ones that stay.
I told Anna about it later and she remembered it immediately too. It was one of her favorites as well.
I find myself returning to that day often. Not because anything dramatic happened, but because nothing had to. We were simply together, moving through a small stretch of time that ended up mattering more than we understood.
And I think that is what I keep learning. When I look back at our vacations, and really at most of life, it is not the big planned experiences that linger for my children. It is the ordinary hours inside them.
Somehow, those are the moments that matter
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