Blogging, Humor, Life

What I Google

Writer McWriterson
I bet if I could get away with it, I would try to pitch a book idea about my recent Google searches.
I would TOTALLY buy that book, by the way.
I would read the crap out of a book about that.
But I am also the same person that bought a book about Tori Spelling.
At full price.
Here are my recent Google searches for the past month.
75% of these were looked up at either the gym while sitting in the passenger seat of a vehicle or during a movie.
My husband gets very frustrated when I pause a movie to ask Siri a question.
HEY, I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT THEN AND THERE IF DONALD SUTHERLAND IS DEAD OR NOT.
He isn’t dead, by the way.
I know you were concerned.

 

how to kill a mosquito without using the stuff from bath and body works 



I wonder if the mosquito attorney for the deceased is going to see this in my search history.
Delete, delete, delete…….
The “stuff” I was referring to was Juniper Breeze and apparently, it was used to be a repellent back in the day.
But they don’t carry it anymore.
Don’t get me started.
Or get this broad started.

how far is Charlotte North Carolina from the ocean

Because I wanted to know.
Three hours and 42 minutes.


how old is Jeff Goldblum…..Meg Tilly…….JoBeth Williams…..

We were watching The Big Chill on Netflix a few weekends ago, for the first time.

And the above search is evidence # 230 that I stop a movie to Google/Siri information.
By the way, 62, 54 and 65.

 

how old was Peter Jennings when he died

Only 67, from lung cancer.
His son wrote a touching essay here.

 

can you get Ebola from a beer bong

OK so, Answers.Yahoo.com is a fun place to get very incorrect information.
Or to find out how the other half lives.
When I Googled the above search, because I was feeling peckish, the first result?
“Can you get Hepatitis from playing beer pong or smoking a short of someone’s cigarette?”


First, they answered my question with a question.
Second, my how to get rid of a mosquito with juniper breeze problems are small, SMALL, in comparison.

 

what words are supposed to be capitalized in a title

I didn’t know.
Don’t worry, I do now.

Lloyd Dobler quotes

One of my favorite movie characters.
Ever.
And his famous dinner table quote is now at the bottom of my blog page.
Go look, just remember to come back and finish this post.
Here is your bookmark YOU WERE HERE
 

are the Go Go’s still together

HOLY CRAP THEY ARE!!!
And they still look good.
courtesy of The Go Go’s website
 

Only Belinda Carlisle’s eyes look higher up on her face than they were in 1981.
Maybe because her lips are always sealed.
That creates serious tension.



Portillo’s email

Portillo’s twitter

The hubs and I had a customer service snafu recently at a local Portillo’s.
That involved an incident with cheese fries.
So I emailed the company and got a really nice reply right away!
AND a five dollar gift card!
FIVE.WHOLE.DOLLARS.
By the way, Portillo’s isn’t on The Twitter.

So I couldn’t tweet them about getting FIVE WHOLE DOLLARS.
Maybe there is a reason they don’t have a Twitter……

what songs were popular in 1984

This was purely research in nature for an upcoming post.
About me, Chaka Khan and a sweatshirt from the Cleveland Home and Garden Show.
A coming of age story, really.
Stay tuned.

 

how to look up recent google searches

Because I didn’t know how to do this before writing this post.
Research, people.
RESEARCH. 
 

 

how do you get crayon off furniture

Because children.

Emily Goodhand

I was watching “True” Tori the other night and they were talking about Dean’s “affair” with this mysterious “other woman”.
This person who Tori Spelling McDermott thinks is “not attractive”.

So I paused the television ….my husband wasn’t home and could care less about “True” Tori so it’s all good. Yet, I am sure he is saying IT’S THE PRINCIPLE but if I had any principles at all I wouldn’t be Google searching Tori Spelling McDermott’s husband’s “alleged” mistress….. because I wanted to see this person for myself.
By the way, she is pretty.

Then it leads me to think which is never a good thing and I entered yet another Google search……television still paused……

is Emily Goodhand real

Because Tori spent the first half of the “True” Tori show talking about how she understands this woman’s plight blah blah blah THEN says, Huh, she isn’t attractive.
Not cool Tori, not cool.
So it’s very up in the air, is to if she real or not.
The suspense is killing me.
So are “True” Tori’s ratings.
It remains to be seen.
I am sure we will find out someday.
After all of Tori’s kids are out of college and tuitions are paid for.
 
 

when does the new season of real housewives NYC start

You are starting to question your friendship/readership with me.
I SWEAR I ONLY WATCH AN HOUR OF TELEVISION A NIGHT.
It is OK, I get that a lot.
But seriously, when does it start?

 

taco bell menu

Stop. Judging.
And it has been a while since we had ordered a chalupa, OK?

 

what does trite mean

I still have no idea.

 

is a bio written in the third person

I am losing credibility by the Google search.
Wait, it gets better…

what does “in the third person” mean

In my defense, I already KNEW what it meant.
I was just double checking.
 

 

what is Maci from teen mom’s last name

See, this is why the government isn’t watching me.
 
 

how do you spell self-conscious

No, this is why.
 
 

kangaroos fighting in the street

Because come on that is some funny stuff.   Please don’t stop reading my blog because of this post.

Thank you.

16 thoughts on “What I Google”

  1. Most of my Google searches start with "What is the deal with…" because I think that I get a better answer when I word questions like that.

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  4. I use IMDB.com for everything related to actors, either on tv or movies. Download the app – it's a time saver. And I would never stop reading your blog. And And (like PPS), I LOVE THE GO GOS!

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  5. Um, I Googled kangaroo street fighting too. Ahem.AND, thanks to you, I Googled how to look up recent Google searches too. So I can comment here. And it says, "Your search history is empty" – WHAT?

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  6. This is hilarious, because I almost did a post of this exact same sort a while back. I believe it was after I found myself googling "I dusted my table with Raid instead of Pledge." 1) Why are they both in yellow cans? and 2) I am not the only person who has one this.I love that you googled how to find out what you googled.

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  11. I Google everything, too – though my recent searches aren't as exciting as yours. Let's see…why are my B-Complex vitamins cracking; a broccoli and garlic recipe; Carpal Tunnel syndrome; do plant sterols help lower LDL cholesterol; what kind of gift do you give to someone who's leaving for the Army; how many users can you have on one Netflix account….The Big Chill is one of my favorite movies!

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  13. I too almost did a post like this recently because I couldn't believe how much my husband and I were googling in the midst of conversations. What did we do before google? If I wanted to know the age of a celebrity back in 1992, what would I have done??? Go to the library?? Sheesh.

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  15. I heart Google. I am a wealth of useless information thanks to Google. You couldn't find half this stuff in a World Book Encyclopedia, you know.

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