The past few weeks I’ve felt like I’ve had to drag myself around everywhere I go. Like a cartoon figure who unfolds themselves out of bed onto the floor, down the hall, and onto the couch each day. I can’t motivate my teenager to homeschool most days, I can barely motivate myself to get in the shower, it’s just too much.
My metaphorical bucket has been depleted.
But I’m not here to talk about the realities that I’m sure you’re all dealing with; I’m here to talk about what I’m grateful for.
Since last fall, I’ve been falling asleep every night by repeating out loud all the things I’m grateful for that happened that day. This has made me feel like there are more reasons to be happy than I previously thought. It made me realize that a list like this would be useful to some of you.
So I started working on this a while ago, adding things here and there; it’s been a lot of fun thinking of all the things for which I should be thankful.
The good shit that’s been happening…. and there is a lot of it.
Here are some oddly specific drops of gratitude I have been adding to my mental bucket over the past five months.
Perhaps it will also inspire some of you.
100 Drops of Gratitude
-sitting in a sunspot and reading
-sunspots (especially during the winter)
-finding new flowers on houseplants that haven’t bloomed in a long time
-my daily soul homework
-the smell of the inside of a coffee shop
-the smell of a Whole Foods’ soap section
-the “new book” section at my local library
-that first sip of coffee in the morning
-knowing that this year would’ve been a lot harder on me if it hadn’t been for the craft of writing.
–SongPop; if you’re a music nerd and haven’t discovered it yet, right that wrong.
-Spotify Creativity Boost playlist. In fact, all of Spotify’s curated playlists. Spotify has helped me discover the coolest and newest and most unusual musicians over the last year.
-my five senses
-my house; I’ve never been more grateful for it than this year.
-crossing tasks off my to-do list
-my husband’s sense of humor
-my headache specialist. I am eternally grateful to him for restoring my life. For many years, pain filled me with so much sadness and so much resentment. Every night before I fall asleep, I express my gratitude to God, the Universe, my spirit guides for his ability to help me get through this. I should have made this the first item on the list.
-my ever-increasing ability to block out thoughts. This quote, “don’t believe everything you think”. Yes. YES. YESSS.
-my dog has this fantastic habit of moving to sleep inside of my legs somewhere between four in the morning and when I wake up. Every morning, I wake up with him in my legs. He started doing this while my migraines were at my worst this summer. He is genuinely my comfort animal, and I am grateful for him on a daily basis.
-a good fart; it is yoga for the colon.
-a deep cleansing breath; it is yoga for the lungs.
-my favorite coffee cup
-my favorite cereal bowl; it’s a ramen bowl from West Elm that I bought during the summer. Ella and I have a mock fight over the bowl because it is a perfect size! (huge) I believe we need another one.
-my favorite blanket
-looking at old pictures on my camera roll
-watching old home movies
–this comment on an article (scroll down to the comment by anonymous dated August 31, 2018, at 2:38 p.m. and read the thread. You won’t regret it)
-discovering Schitt’s Creek last year. It’s turned into a comfort show in a time when I needed it the most.
-a good hard laugh. This will help get you started.
-learning to meditate
– talking to my plants
-finding love notes from my children from years ago in my phone
-finding love notes from myself to myself in my phone
-appreciating winter for the first time since I was a child. For years I despised winter, but not this year. In fact, I enjoyed every snowfall, and when the first day of spring arrived, I was shocked. Winter flew by this year. I think it’s because I am living more in the moment. And antidepressants. Did I already mention how grateful I am for them?
-antidepressants (adding them again because)
-learning to love myself
-the color green
-facing my fears (it is REALLY hard) I am grateful for this process even though it is scary.
-my mom and dad’s good health
-our health as well
-horses and the therapy they bring for our sweet Ella (and to us as well)
-rainbows (in any form)
-the act of flossing teeth and how therapeutic that is
-how I am finding therapy in the strangest places
-FaceTime with Anna and the mutual love therapy it provides both of us
-Ella’s ability to force me to face my truth
-morning talks with my husband
-walking in the woods
-trees just being trees
-afternoon phone calls with my mom over coffee
-my little desk nook
-grammar editing apps
-my incapacity to grasp grammar (otherwise, I would not have discovered the preceding)
-Pema Chodron (by the way, I figured out how to pronounce her name)
-Starbucks iced chai lattes
-giving perfection the middle finger
-discovering treasures like this and feeling as if you’re living in a parallel universe
-then doubting your bird’s existence
-then doubting your own existence
-a cardinal’s bird call; or any bird call, for that matter
-rabbit holes (not literal ones, figurative ones)
-intently reading something and saying YES! out loud to no one.
-discovering a TikTok on my feed from Ella talking about me saying, “she didn’t think she looked good but I think she looks beautiful.”
-discovering TikTok late in the game and having some much fun with it
-singing at the top of your lungs in the car
-book referrals from friends
-my newfound podcast and the therapy it is providing me
-discovering that a “menopause specialist,” is a “thing”
-realizing that there are some days in the week I don’t watch any television because I’ve been writing and listening to music instead, and the sense of serenity that brings me.
-hearing laughter coming from down the hall
-seeing my friends and family in my feeds receiving the vaccine
-that I finally conquered the dreaded Block Editor
-that I am motivated to edit my book again, thanks to the aforementioned Book Blueprint
-For finding this article about menopause
-slowly getting back to normal only to realize that nothing will ever be normal again. Then learning that there is no such thing as normal. That our lives are constantly shifting and in flux, and that perhaps we needed this wake-up call.
-for my soul family
-for my actual family
-for cartoons like this
-for pulling away from social media this year
-for cultivating relationships during the pandemic; I hear so much talk about how divided has been, yet there have been relationships that have grown stronger for me. I am extremely appreciative of those.
-for all of you
I’d say my bucket is overflowing. I am passing it along in the hopes that it will help you fill your bucket. I hope you will pass it on and continued the chain.