The past couple of weeks have felt like I have had to drag myself everywhere I go. Like a cartoon character who unfolds themselves out of bed onto the floor, down the hall, and onto the couch each day. I cannot motivate my teenager to homeschool most days, I can barely motivate myself to get in the shower, it’s just a lot.
My proverbial bucket has been emptied.
But I am not here to share the realities that all of you are also most likely going through; I am here to talk about what I am grateful for.
Since fall, every night I have been falling asleep by saying out loud all the things I am most grateful for that occurred within that day. I have found that this helps me to feel like there are more things to be happy about than I consider. It made me realize that maybe some of you would appreciate a list like this.
So I began working on this a while ago, adding things here and there; it has been a lot of fun thinking of all the things I should be grateful for.
The good shit that’s been happening…. and there is a lot.
Here are some oddly specific drops of gratitude I have been adding to my mental bucket over the past five months.
Maybe it will inspire some of you too.
100 Drops of Gratitude
-reading while sitting in a sunspot
-sunspots (especially during the winter)
-discovering new flowers on houseplants that haven’t bloomed in years
-my daily soul homework
-the smell of the inside of a coffee shop
-the smell of the soap section of a Whole Foods
-my local library’s new book section
-that first sip of coffee in the morning
-knowing that if it weren’t for the art of writing, this year would have been a lot harder on me
–SongPop; if you haven’t discovered it yet and are a music nerd, right that wrong.
-Spotify Creativity Boost playlist. Actually, all the curated playlists on Spotify. I have found the coolest and newest and most-offbeat artists over the past year, thanks to Spotify. I urge you to get a free account (if you don’t have one) for that reason alone.
-my five senses
-my home; I have never been so grateful for having one than I have this year.
-crossing things off my to-do list
-my husband’s sense of humor
-my headache doctor. I am so grateful to him for giving me my life back. Pain filled me with so much sadness and so much resentment for so many years. Every night before I fall asleep, I tell God, the Universe, my spirit guides, how grateful I am for him and his ability to help me get through this. I should have made this the first thing on the list.
-my ever-growing ability to ignore thoughts. This quote, “don’t believe everything you think”. Yes. YES. YESSS.
-my dog has this amazing habit of moving to sleep inside of my legs somewhere between four in the morning and when I wake up. Every morning, I wake to him in my legs. He began doing this when my migraines were at my worst this past summer. He is truly my comfort animal; I am grateful for him every day.
-a good fart; it is yoga for the colon.
-a deep cleansing breath; it is yoga for the lungs.
-my favorite coffee cup
-my favorite cereal bowl; it’s a ramen bowl I got at West Elm over the summer. Ella and I actually faux-fight over the bowl because it is a perfect size! (huge) I think we need to get another one.
-my favorite blanket and how much comfort it brings me
-looking at old pictures on my camera roll and seeing how much fun we’ve had over the years
-watching old home movies- ” ”
–this comment on an article (scroll down to the comment by anonymous dated August 31, 2018, at 2:38 p.m. and read the thread. You won’t regret it)
-finding Schitt’s Creek this past year. It has become a comfort show in a time when I needed it most.
-a good hard laugh. This will help get you started.
-learning to meditate
– talking to my plants
-finding love notes in my phone from my children from years past
-finding love notes in my phone from myself to myself
-appreciating winter for the first time since being a child. For years I hated winter, and this year, I didn’t. In fact, I loved every snowfall and when it was the first day of spring; I was shocked. Winter flew by this year. I believe it is because I am living more in the moment and? Antidepressants. Did I already mention how grateful I am for them?
-antidepressants (adding them again because)
-learning to love me
-the color green
-facing my fears (it is REALLY hard) I am grateful for this process even though it is scary AF.
-my mom and dad and their health
-our health as well
-horses and the therapy they provide to our sweet Ella (and to us as well)
-rainbows (in any form)
-the act of flossing teeth and how therapeutic that is
-how I am finding therapy in the strangest places
-FaceTime with Anna and the mutual love therapy it provides both of us
-Ella’s ability to make me face my truth
-morning talks with my husband
-walking in the woods
-trees just being trees
-afternoon coffee talks on the phone with my mom
-my little desk nook
-grammar editor apps
-my inability to grasp grammar (otherwise, I wouldn’t have found the above)
-Pema Chodron (I figured out how to pronounce her name)
-Starbucks iced chai lattes
-giving perfection the middle finger
-discovering finds like this and feeling like you are living in an alternate universe
-then questioning your bird’s existence
-then questioning your own existence
-a cardinal’s bird call; or any bird call for that matter
-rabbit holes (not literal ones, figurative ones)
-intently reading something and saying YES! out loud to no one.
-finding a TikTok in my feed from Ella talking about me saying, “she didn’t think she looked good but I think she looks beautiful.”
-discovering TikTok late in the game and it giving you so much laughter
-singing in the car at the top of your lungs
-book referrals from friends
-my newfound podcast and the therapy it is providing me
-discovering that a “menopause specialist,” is a “thing”
-realizing that there are some days in the week I don’t watch any television because I have been writing and listening to music in place of it and the feeling of peace that brings me.
-hearing laughter coming from down the hall
-seeing my friends and family receiving the vaccine in my feeds
-that I finally conquered the dreaded Block Editor
-that I am motivated to edit my book again, thanks to the aforementioned Book Blueprint
-For finding this article about menopause from someone who gets it
-slowly getting back to normal; then realizing that things won’t ever be normal again. Then realizing again that normal isn’t even a thing. That our lives are always changing, always in flux, and that maybe we needed this wake-up call.
-for my soul family
-for my actual family
-for cartoons like this
-for pulling away from social media this year
-for cultivating relationships during the pandemic; I hear so much talk about this year being divisive, but there were relationships that grew stronger for me. I am so grateful for those.
-for all of you
I’d say my bucket is overflowing. I am passing it to you, hoping it helps fill your bucket. I hope you will pass it on and keep the chain going.