When I was 14, this album was released:
Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s Welcome to the Pleasuredome. It was revolutionary given that they were openly gay in 1984. The word “period” wasn’t even permitted on television until a year later, in a Playtex commercial.
I don’t recall it being groundbreaking, but that could be because I am now 50 years old and have had so much shit thrown at me in the last year alone that I can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast two days ago.
Sit back, relax (the song, by the way, is about sex), and welcome to the menopausedome.
my next chapter
I finished my book three days after entering menopause, and now I’m trying to figure out what to do with it next.
Coming into my menopause months, I had some bumpy moments that I affectionately refer to as “turbulence.” The landing was rough, to be honest, but I’m doing fine now that I’m on the runway.
The Universe book, has been really beneficial to me during the last few months. It has cleared my headspace, making my landing much smoother, even in the midst of this pandemic.
blooming while falling apart
I planted zinnias in two pots on our patio back in May a week after I went to the emergency room for the migraine. I wasn’t feeling well, but I just wanted to feel normal again and go back to a routine.
My migraine cycles resumed again a week after the initial planting, so I was out of commission for the next two months. I remember looking out the window at one point and seeing that my poor zinnias were dying.
I was heartbroken.
One evening while on the patio trying to revive them, I said to Mike, “they’re unhappy. Like me.”
Over the course of summer, I made it my mission to help my poor zinnias. Then I noticed something.
I was also slowly coming back to life, and I was cheering them on as much as I could muster.
WE CAN DO THIS LITTLE FLOWERS.
I have never loved the flowers so much. The sweet zinnias that cheered me on the summer I was in so much pain.
*Edited to add- I should’ve named these Emotional Zinnias.
*Also, that would’ve made an EXCELLENT rock band name.
screw it, I’m eating apple crisp
I found this recipe for apple crisp in August, and I made it on Labor Day. I thought immediately of my friend Ernie who eats gluten-free, but I also thought of fall and decided that I would make it because I thought my husband and my youngest daughter might like it too.
I ended up eating the entire pan by myself that afternoon. Because of menopause.
Remember the hair intervention I talked about earlier this year? Well, besides letting my hair grow all willy-nilly, I also haven’t colored my hair since February. I think the mentality is that I’m not leaving the house until the summer of 2021, so who the hell cares what I look like.
So I need a superb babushka of some sort to cover my entire head. Like a bandana or a wrap that I can put around my head without looking like a fortune teller. So I look like a cool hippie from the sixties who smells of patchouli and knows where to buy the good weed.
Here’s what the Gilmore Girls house would look like today (I’m not sure I like it, personally)
But will we ever wear bras again? (I’m looking at you, Rita, and Katie)
I found this on Spotify last month and I can’t stop listening to this over and over. It’s not a Christian song, don’t let the name fool you.
And this one too:
And I could not forget:
fu**ing mod cakes
I’ve been starting each day by opening my universe book and wherever it lands, considering it a sign from said universe. I read while drinking my morning coffee, and it has become church for me.
I have noticed that as the weather has cooled down, I am slowing down as well. I sit in the morning’s stillness before the house wakes up and I take it all in. The day, my life, the world.
In a time where there doesn’t seem like there is much to look forward to, I have found something to look forward to each day.
Since this is October, I want to share with you a recipe for donuts that are so, so, so good. I found this on Pinterest in September and I made them one day when I was sad.
The recipe comes from a blogger who declares herself to be a Christian, which is nice, but my blog is full of a lot of FU**S and SHITS and FARTS AND POOPS.
It made me pause because the day after I made the delicious Christian donuts; I ended up with quite a headache.
I considered it a sign from God to tone it down with the fu**s and shits and farts and poops.
So enjoy the holy donuts.
They’re delicious, AND you won’t have to go to church after eating them.
I love to fart, and I am not afraid to tell you this
Speaking of farts.
LISTEN, I have little to live for these days, and not too many things bring me happiness anymore. Except for those stupid mod cakes and the entire pan of apple crisp, Christian donuts, and the occasional rage singing in my car.
But there is just nothing, NOTHING, like a good fart when you are in menopause.
It is pure, unadulterated joy.
It’s those little things that get us through the tough times .
One toot at a time.
Toot, toot, toot.